gender roles
Mar

04

Gender Roles – Personal Preference

Introspection / Transgender Life  Posted by / 4 comments

The fluid nature of gender roles over time provides more proof that what it means to be a man changes depending on the era and the culture and probably the circumstances. It is common to cling to current sensibilities as if they were pronounced from on high, but recall that the Roman soldiers wore skirts into battle and the males in French aristocracy in the middle of the last millennium wore long hair, wigs, heels, etc.

Mind you, I am not sure the role differences changed as much as the expectations for clothes and appearance.

I respect everyone’s right to choose their gender role, but for myself, I confess to liking the idea of men and women who are distinctly different.

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gender choice
Feb

25

Transgender – Gender Choice or Need?

Politics and Opinion / Transgender Life  Posted by / 4 comments

In response to my previous post asserting that, for me, living a female life is a choice, one commentator expressed an interesting challenge to that thinking, and one that I feel deserves a post of its own in response:

I wonder if you were required to put Janie away how long it would be before her needs started to show up in ways that you might not expect or find comfortable. I’ve heard the same story from a lot of us that when their female sides were pushed out of sight she pushed back. Nothing is worse than a “T” girl scorned for she will become a real bitch until she is once again free. The free girl is pleasant and relaxed while the closeted one is anything but.

Into a not so scientific experiment? Why don’t you put Janie away and see how long it takes for the choice to become a need?

I don’t have to “put Janie away” for even a minute to realize that I would be pretty miserable without her. All I have to do is think about doing so and I start to get agitated.

That settles nothing, however.

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redhead tgirl in green dress portrait
Feb

23

Pro-Choice

Introspection / Transgender Life  Posted by / 4 comments

In all my recent writing about contemplating an adjustment to the way I express my femininity, there is one huge presumption: that I have a choice.

This is not a popular concept within the transgender (or even gay) community, and I am not going to undertake the futile task of even suggesting that my feelings apply to anyone but me. Suffice it to say that there are those who believe that it is a stronger statement to say “I choose to be” than it is to say “I can’t help it,” though the latter has always been a better political argument.

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gender presentation
Feb

20

Mixed Up Gender Presentation

Politics and Opinion / Transgender Life  Posted by / 6 comments

Despite being a mix of genders – at least when I am Janie – I try to come off as one or the other. And, I do so with good reason.

We live in society – y’know, among other people. 99% (a rough, but undoubtedly fair approximation) understand gender in the binary sense – and to a large extent, so do I.

Presenting oneself outside this presumption will surely turn heads, and likely noses too. If you have a renegade complex, maybe that suits you; it doesn’t me.

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tranny redhead in white hat smiling
Feb

18

More on Living Without Gender

Sexuality and Fantasy / Transgender Life  Posted by / 11 comments

(continued from Beyond Gender)

What we are talking about is the post-gender concept, the “Pejic Ideal,” so to speak: the relatively rare male that can, without body modification or assumption of womanhood, carry off a completely feminine look.

The guy who basically says, “I like feminine things, and if you mistake me for a woman, that’s on you not me.”

The guy who says, “I happen to enjoy the trappings of both genders and I dress in things I like and behave the way I feel. I don’t feel the need to be male or female in order to understand myself. I am just me. I realize that most others will need to put me in one box or the other, but if they do, they will find out things about me that just don’t fit their model. I can play along with people’s need to be able to understand me, but only now and then.”

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androgynous model pejic
Feb

16

Beyond Gender

Health and Beauty / Politics and Opinion / Transgender Life  Posted by / 6 comments

Most people agree that there is male and there is female, and with the exception of a precious few folks on this planet, everyone is either one gender or the other.

Then came Andrej Pejic, called by New York Magazine “The Prettiest Boy in the World. (http://nymag.com/fashion/11/fall/andrej-pejic/ )” His androgyny is well-known, being that he models high fashion for both genders, but what’s more interesting is that he says that his gender is entirely a matter of perception and, that professionally, he has left his gender open to artistic interpretation.

“It’s not like, ‘Okay, today I want to look like a man, or today I want to look like a woman,’ ” he says. “I want to look like me. It just so happens that some of the things I like are feminine.”

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accommodation
Feb

12

Accommodation – Mitigating Factors and Being Me

Introspection / Transgender Life  Posted by / 2 comments

The recent implosion of my yaoi gender identity project (as described here) deserves just a little more attention.

My attempt at an androgynous presentation was shot down in no uncertain terms by a family member – which was somewhat shocking considering the contrast to the reactions, or rather lack of reaction, from close friends.

But there was an important distinction.

The family member in question KNOWS about Janie. And my androgynous appearance was in circumstances where we had agreed Janie would not appear.

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gender identity distinction
Feb

09

Gender Identity Distinction – Theory Meets Reality

Introspection / Transgender Life  Posted by / 6 comments

As much as theoretically I saw a helpful gender identity distinction at the boundary-line between male and female, I have found the distinction difficult to sustain on the ground.

For me to behave in a feminine manner, I have to channel a distinctly female energy within myself. I am not able to become a feminine man other than by seeing the world from as female a perspective as I can muster, and then stepping back over the line by filtering out certain clothes.

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gender identity distinctions crushed and bulldozed
Feb

06

Fine Gender Identity Distinctions Are All in My Mind

Out in the World / Transgender Life  Posted by / 5 comments

It seemed to me an awfully big deal to finally see the possibility of expressing my feminine gender identity as a man rather than as a woman. (See Trying on the Yaoi Gender Mix for Size and A New Take on My Male Gender Identity for more.)

I have expressed concerns about the latter, feeling to some degree, inauthentic, or put on. And, I have expressed the opinion that as long as I stay on the male side of the coin, the degree of my femininity is merely a question of fashion and therefore not subject to the same kinds of reactions and objections as gender questions might be.

Well, I didn’t get very far along this yaoi road before reality – at least my reality – stepped squarely in my path.

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cleavage
Feb

05

The Illusion of Cleavage

Health and Beauty / Transgender Life  Posted by / 3 comments

Seems that the male of the species has a pre-occupation with the bosom of the female – and the publicly viewable part of it, i.e., cleavage. For my part – if I still get a vote – I have never been all that interested in that part of the female anatomy – nice enough, but I generally have found that it is thin women who generally don’t have much there, y’know model types, who tend to catch my eye. Funnily enough, GF is quite buxom. Oh well, I’ll make do. 😉

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