Apr
03
Today I found myself in a boutique shop that sells all manner of cocktail supplies. The only service person in the store was a young man – early twenties, I’d guess – very feminine, and actually quite beautiful.
My gender sensors identified him as a man, and that’s how I’ll refer to him, but I have no idea how he identifies or how he was born.
A few things struck me from our interactions. First is that, in writing this post, the inadequacy of language in this regard is quite obvious. Do I refer to this person as “him” or, if not, then what? Anything I choose is as likely to be as wrong as it is right, and I don’t see a way to write this post without gender-specific pronouns.
Second, not knowing his gender didn’t matter – at least not to me. I found him attractive and helpful and personable – and none of that need have a gender.
Third, I thought about the wonderful freedom he had – to be male or female or both or neither or something else entirely. Lucky him! He could change from day to day, or not, or he could change by the minute if he pleased. What a kaleidoscopic way to experience life and learn about yourself!
Once upon a time, I had a gift of sorts to be able to present and behave alternately as a masculine male or a feminine female, but my mindset had these compartmentalized and it was a determined effort. Also, it turned out that one side was real and the other a relic. Here, it is much more organic, and the change I saw in him from being very feminine one moment, to affecting a male presence the next is what prompted me to these thoughts.
Last, this privilege he has, well, it is a gift of youth. It won’t last long. Sure, he gets to experiment and try every possibility out if he wants to, but eventually he will grow into something less flexible – at least physically. Will he pine for the days he was a chameleon of sorts, or will he grow comfortably into whatever identity most suits him?
Like everything else, it seems, that will be up to him.
Mar
20
Will It Always Be Hard?
Health and Beauty / Introspection / Out in the World / Transgender Life Posted by Janie
/
5 comments
I am Janie. That other part of me has receded into, well, I don’t know where. I live my life pretty much like any other woman.
And yet…
Read More»
Aug
12
By now, the exciting news has leaked out – that I have red hair. Well, I have always had red hair, but now it is REALLY RED HAIR.
For most women, the choice of hair color is not a piddling concern, but likely not life-changing. For me, it is very likely to be.
Read More»
Feb
16
Most people agree that there is male and there is female, and with the exception of a precious few folks on this planet, everyone is either one gender or the other.
Then came Andrej Pejic, called by New York Magazine “The Prettiest Boy in the World. (http://nymag.com/fashion/11/fall/andrej-pejic/ )” His androgyny is well-known, being that he models high fashion for both genders, but what’s more interesting is that he says that his gender is entirely a matter of perception and, that professionally, he has left his gender open to artistic interpretation.
“It’s not like, ‘Okay, today I want to look like a man, or today I want to look like a woman,’ ” he says. “I want to look like me. It just so happens that some of the things I like are feminine.”
Read More»
Feb
05
Seems that the male of the species has a pre-occupation with the bosom of the female – and the publicly viewable part of it, i.e., cleavage. For my part – if I still get a vote – I have never been all that interested in that part of the female anatomy – nice enough, but I generally have found that it is thin women who generally don’t have much there, y’know model types, who tend to catch my eye. Funnily enough, GF is quite buxom. Oh well, I’ll make do. 😉
Read More»
Feb
04
I followed up my performance at that last party by wearing the same teal green booties with white pants and a women’s casual top (and even a bit of mascara) to a dinner party with some of the same friends.
Again nothing.
At one point in the evening, we were discussing some celebrities, and one of the women mentioned that she didn’t like the way Brad Pitt looked with long hair. Too greasy, too droopy, no body – just didn’t look right.
“Maybe they thought that if they gave his hair more body, he’d look too feminine,” I piped in helpfully.
Read More»
Feb
02
I think one of the most profound realizations that came to me in the course of considering the whole yaoi thing was the idea that I have been taking for granted the effect that the changes to my hair (both on my head – where the change is to more and longer – and on my body, where the change is to less and none) have achieved already.
I have been thinking so much about the effects that I might have to encounter if people I knew found out that I was a feminine man or even a part-time female, or whichever way we decide to characterize what it is that I am or do.
Read More»
Feb
01
I just thought I’d direct your attention to an interesting article from the BBC entitled “Why Did Men Stop Wearing High Heels?”
For the uninitiated, it seems that men used to have long hair, wear flowing, frilly clothes, and yes, high heels. At times, this was done for functional reasons; other times, it was to signify wealth and class.
Equally interesting is that high heels were out of fashion for a time for both genders.
It was not only designers but changing gender and class roles and social mores that influenced who wore the pants… or stilettos… in the family.
Read More»
Jan
03
My morning’s email brought with it a bunch of digital photos of me and my family over the holidays, and my reaction to them was not positive.
What I saw were the kind of photos where, years later, a next generation asks, “Who’s that weird-looking guy in this picture?” and the answer is something like, “Oh, he was some crazy uncle… I heard he was a nice enough guy, but obviously quite strange…”
Looking at the photo was troubling not because of the judgment of others, but because of my own verdict, to wit: one strange bird among several normal-looking people.
Read More»
Dec
22
This is one of my favorite ways of getting in on all the fun that goes on this time of year – dressing up and taking pictures. (Come to think of it, I enjoy being in front of or behind the lens all year long.) Well, maybe it’s the shopping then. 😛
Anyway, I hope you like them. 🙂
To all my readers, have a safe holiday season/Merry Christmas!
xo
Janie
Recent Comments