Nov
10
Since I started up this new site, I have scarcely had enough time to put into my modeling efforts. I haven’t even managed to introduce my blog readers to the photos I have posted in the modeling section of this site from shoots I have already done.
Well, today’s the day.
This will be the first in an intermittent series on the photos in my modeling portfolio.
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Nov
05
Funny what limits we set for ourselves…
I live my life as Janie well over half the time; I go out for walks in the neighborhood; I drive, shop, go out to eat.
On a different tack, I have done laser to make my body and face hairless, and I have grown my hair out.
But, strange as it may seem, one thing I can’t bring myself to do is pierce my ears.
Allow me to explain.
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Oct
10
Ah, the mysteries of hair color… They say that blondes have more fun. Heck they say I’m blonde… What do they know?
I’m a redhead – the rarest of the basic hair colors. We natural redheads constitute only 1-2% of humanity. Of redheads, Johnathan Swift wrote,
“It is observed that the red-haired of both sexes are more libidinous and mischievous than the rest, whom yet they much exceed in strength and activity.”
Explains a lot… 😉
(For those who want to read more about redheads, try here.)
Anyhoo…
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Oct
03
I am pretty hard on myself. But sometimes, the judgments I pass on myself have implications for my understanding of being a tgirl generally.
I sometimes see masculinity in myself in place of my femininity, and I recoil. I know I can fix it through an adjustment of clothing, makeup, hairstyle or attitude, and everything will be ok.
But, what if I couldn’t?
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Sep
12
One of the major differences between men and women is the time we spend on ourselves.
There is an incredible amount of work that goes into properly grooming oneself as a woman.
There is constant attention to detail, like carefully washing one’s face every day, exfoliating, then moisturizing the face and eyes separately. There is a regimen for the evening and another in the morning.
There is nail care, and hair care, and body hair removal by waxing or shaving or whatever. There is scraping off dead skin on hands and feet or wherever it appears.
A girl has to moisturize her whole body, get occasional facials, do masks and peels and so on.
Her hair has to be styled often, and there are myriad of products to be applied at different times for differing purposes. Frequent visits to the salon are advisable.
Then, the clothes, and the shoes…
Even going to bed, a girl has to look her best, so there’s lingerie and bathrobes and slippers…
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Aug
29
(… continued from Roles)
It occurs to me that people generally put no small amount of effort into presenting an image of themselves to the world through the way they dress about who they are and how they want to be seen and treated.
Whether it is the youngster in a t-shirt and ball-cap with his pants hanging well below his underwear or the businessman with a $2,000 suit and professionally selected shirt and tie to complement the look, each has taken a great deal of trouble to send a message about their self-image.
We all know what is likely to be the result of our presentation choices based on our understanding of social norms in society today.
Read More»Aug
15
Today is one of those funny days when I don’t really know what I am.
I got up this morning knowing that I can be as I wish, then got dressed in a white pair of pants that are technically male clothes, but not categorically so.
I thought about what to put on top for a minute, then settled on my favorite green top with white stripes – a nice complement to the pants, and as feminine a top as the pants were masculine – in other words, debatably so.
Androgynous running shoes completed the androgynous outfit.
I hung around the house for a while, eating breakfast and answering emails and such, then had to go out.
I decided to accessorize my look with a necklace and two rings, and in a last minute decision, put on a touch of mascara and subtle lipstick.
The clothes are, as I have said umpteen times before, merely a reflection of my mood, not the other way around.
Read More»Jul
24
It has been a trying couple of weeks, with a ton of family obligations that necessitated too much guy time and very little Janie-ness.
It is always surprising what strange things leave their mark in my perceptions…
What hit me was that, yes, I actually do have some nice male clothes. Who knew?
In the past couple of years, I have rarely had need of more than two pairs of pants and a few tops, since I wear male clothes quite sparingly, and so I had just been pretty much wearing out my few faves over time.
But with daily use, I had to delve further into his wardrobe. And, guess what? I have some nice stuff, and some of it is even bohemian enough to pull off with long hair.
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Jun
18
I doubt I am alone in confessing that I spend a lot of time in front of the mirror.
I’m not talking so much about the makeup mirror, but more about just seeing the reflection of my female alter-ego.
It seems a common affliction of my tgirl sisters, and I am not immune. It is an old joke that if you want to stop a tgirl in her tracks just put up a mirror.
There are a number of reasons why we do this, and the reasons change for each of us over time.
In the beginning, for me, I think it was mostly about how I couldn’t believe it was actually me. Also, there tends to be a certain element of sexual arousal in a gurl’s early days.
The Mirror of Introspection
But all that has long past. These days, it is more about my questioning myself. And, to that end, I tend to inspect not just Janie’s reflection but that of my male self.
Loathe as I am to admit, seeing beauty in the mirror supports the notion in my mind that I am truly female and doing the right thing in following that path, while noticing masculinity in my reflection tends to incite doubts as to what this crazy guy is doing.
The truth of the matter is that neither is of any importance at all. It is all about what’s inside.
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May
20
Last time, I spoke about trade-offs that I make in my effort to be capable of assuming both masculine and feminine roles.
In a conversation with a friend, who confided that it took her 3 hours to get ready each and every time she went out, it hit me there are some compromises I am simply not willing to make.
I am not judging her – she’s totally fabulous, in fact! But, the truth immediately hit home that among the many things I am willing to change, give up or massage in order to allow Janie to flourish in my life, a 3-hour lead time was nowhere to be found.
I am just the girl-next-door… ok, with a twist… and maybe some exotic spice added. The point is that I am just regular people, and I want to be able to be who I am any day, every day. It is not a performance; it’s not an event; it’s just life.
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