20
2012Time in a Bottle
Last time, I spoke about trade-offs that I make in my effort to be capable of assuming both masculine and feminine roles.
In a conversation with a friend, who confided that it took her 3 hours to get ready each and every time she went out, it hit me there are some compromises I am simply not willing to make.
I am not judging her – she’s totally fabulous, in fact! But, the truth immediately hit home that among the many things I am willing to change, give up or massage in order to allow Janie to flourish in my life, a 3-hour lead time was nowhere to be found.
I am just the girl-next-door… ok, with a twist… and maybe some exotic spice added. The point is that I am just regular people, and I want to be able to be who I am any day, every day. It is not a performance; it’s not an event; it’s just life.
My life is mostly just about going out for dinner, dating, hanging out with friends or shopping. It usually takes me about fifteen minutes to get ready to go out; if it took 3 hours, my night would be over before it started.
It’s simply a question of practicality for me. I am Janie almost every single day, and a 3-hour lead time would discourage me mightily. Something that’s supposed to be natural wouldn’t feel that way to me if I had to go through a 3-hour process each time.
Ashley
If you’re Janie almost every day, haven’t you “transitioned” for all intents and purposes? And to “fully” transition, you don’t necessarily have to do bottom surgery if I recall the Laws of Canada…
cdjanie
Ashley, transitioning isn’t a question of law or even of frequency, but of mind and heart. And, to clarify, being Janie almost every day doesn’t preclude doing the male thing at a different time that same day, as often happens.
Shirley Corning
Well Janie,
It used to take me at least a couple hours to get ready in the nineties but I had to be perfect for my once or twice a month outing. I have neither the time nor the patience for that now. Screw it! I don’t have to look like Miss America. With my eyelash extensions I don’t need mascara. An eyebrow pencil and some lipstick and I’m out the door in about 15 minutes too, dressed of course. lol I am curious how often your friend goes through her 3 hour preparation to go out though and why it takes her so long.
cdjanie
Shirley, my friend does not do the everyday girl thing – she goes for “spectacular” when she goes out and that’s why it takes so long.
Shirley Corning
Yep. Been there. Done that or something like it in terms of time and effort plus spending 5 to 6 hours a couple days before each outing plucking every whisker one by one with tweasers from the cheek bones down to the base of the neck. Ouch! I can relate to the word perfectionist. Good thing I had my beard fried off long ago.
Mary-Margret Callahan
I seem to recall this conversation…..sigh.
Without showing a side by side pic of myself in my male mode its not easy to understand…but if I did, you’d see why. My masculine side is very much that, masculine, and not too handsome either. Once, someone who knows me as close as anyone, saw a picture of my femme self (a closeup at that) and had no clue that it was me. Zero. Its like being a superhero with a secret identity. I am less androgynous than many of my T-sisters and the transistion from one to the other requires a lot of work, and makeup… to look half decent anyway. No point in putting in a weak effort I say.
Some g*rls like my lovely Janie are lucky to be pretty enough naturally and can be fabulous in 15. I am so jealous of that.
Shirley Corning
Um, Mary. It is the rule not the exception that few will recognize you as your masculine counterpart when dressed en femme. I’ve personally met around 400 T types, mostly CDs, ranging from homely to beautiful and the extent of their freedom always seemed to boil down to something Henry Ford said, “You can think you can or you can think you can’t and either way you’re right.” Perhaps we should trade a few stories and pictures.
You get a big hug,
Shirley