Jul
03
I attended a wedding recently, and sat at a table with some very old friends, male friends, from my previous life.
It was a nice time to catch up with everyone and to enjoy dancing to a surprisingly appealing choice of music from decades ago, with a few more modern but nevertheless upbeat tunes mixed in.
As happens in large gatherings, conversations flowed among the group, involving changing sub-groups as the night wore on. When I wasn’t included, I was only too happy to scoot onto the dance floor and dance by myself, letting my heart soar with the energizing beat. I even asked one of my lonelier-looking guy friends to dance at one point.
Read More»
Jun
30
This seems to be my summer for reading. I just finished Penny Aimes’ For the Love of April French and I have to say it’s a winner.
The book follows a couple that meets in a bar catering to BDSM. April is a transgender submissive and Dennis is a meticulous dom. Not being in that lifestyle, I found the BDSM aspect a bit distracting. But I did learn a lot about why it is appealing, even if I cared a lot more about their relationship as simply man and trans woman. To be fair, there is an interesting interplay between the two.
Read More»
Mar
20
Will It Always Be Hard?
Health and Beauty / Introspection / Out in the World / Transgender Life Posted by Janie
/
5 comments
I am Janie. That other part of me has receded into, well, I don’t know where. I live my life pretty much like any other woman.
And yet…
Read More»
Mar
15
I have done a lot more writing than reading when it comes to trans experiences. But now that I’m on a reading kick, I am discovering how powerful it feels to me when transgender authors express experiences I have had through their lenses.
The whole thing is making me a bit emotional. First, there’s that sense of community, of shared feelings and responses that I never got even from all those trans events I attended over the years, where I got to know so many terrific people. I now get to sit in the quiet of my home and let these messages wash over me rather than having to have a ready answer for a conversation-mate, or a quick reply before the music or other revelers intruded.
Read More»
Feb
27
This feels vaguely like climbing, stiffly and slowly, back behind the wheel of a truck I left by the side of the road years ago. I wonder if I can still handle this rig.
Hard to believe, but it’s been nearly a decade since my last post. In that time, we’ve had Covid, and
Read More»
Jun
23
I always knew that I was happier as a woman, but I’m only just starting to realize why.
I played golf today with a couple of my old male friends. I shanked my share and hit some plain stupid shots, but y’know what? It didn’t affect my mood one iota. Not to put too fine a point on it, but that’s not exactly the way it was in my prior life. Today, all I cared about was being outside on a beautiful day playing a fun game with friends. And, I was happy.
Read More»Nov
22
Is this the reality of being trans? That normalcy is a slice of heaven?
I kinda know that already (see Just Living Life, posted only a few days ago), but I saw this graphic today on Facebook and my reaction really surprised me anyway.
Yeah, it’s cute humor, and yeah, there are those who focus on the gun thing and on feminist objections to the father’s protectiveness, but for me what really hit home – and it stopped me in my tracks – was the picture it created in my mind… of having a boyfriend who stood beside me, proud to be with me, and of having the passionate approval and protection of my parents – especially my dad.
Wow!
Funny how the idea of just being part of an almost cliched family experience can be so moving! I see a scene where I am loved and accepted (not just tolerated), protected, desired, wanted, embraced, and where I can have confidence that I belong – and it feels profound.
It seems like just getting back to zero is a major accomplishment for many trans people – and even those whose experiences have been quite positive.
But, I guess heaven is in the small things for everyone. As we strive for money and things and thrills, in a quiet moment it can hit us that genuine love of family and friends is heaven – is the only thing that really and truly matters.
Dec
16
Ah, life in Canada! We had our first real snowfall here this weekend.
I know, who comes here for the weather report? Well, sometimes all the mumbo jumbo about life as a trans woman comes down to simply living your life.
Read More»
Jun
03
The current issue of Frock Magazine is out on the virtual newsstands, and there is a six-page spread by and about me, starting at page 58, called “Beauty on the Gender Line.” (The issue is #21, June/July 2013.)
To save you the trip – and a few of their maddeningly ill-advised edits of the article – I reproduce the contents here –
Read More»
07
Thanks for Being There
Recently, I undertook the task of going through my blog posts to get a sense of my history. It has been a bit of a humbling experience – so much so that I think I owe my loyal and persistent commenters an apology.
Read More»