Oct
29
During this week, I have made a point of concentrating on the way I speak. I mentioned last time that I took a voice lesson and attended seminars at Fantasia. But, what I want to talk about now is what I am learning from myself, having spent the week focusing on my speech.
This is the first time I have not let myself off the hook in terms of communicating as a woman. In public, in private, alone or on stage, talking to others or to myself (yes, I am nuts!), I insisted from myself that I speak as a woman.
I usually let my guard down when walking on the street or sitting at home talking about stuff with GF. Not this week. If I got upset, I’d often tend to fall back into guy voice to cope; not this week. In fact, any time I found myself faltering in any way, I’d excuse myself and go to the bathroom and regroup (something that became less necessary as the week wore on).
Read More»Oct
28
This Fantasia Fair had a surprisingly intense focus on voice. Three speech pathologists were in attendance, and 4 seminars on offer, as well as private sessions available.
I took full advantage.
My personal assessment of my female voice is that it is not bad, but could stand improvement. I wanted a professional assessment, as well as some tools to use in order to better myself.
So, I met privately with one of the professionals.
The session began with her engaging me in conversation about myself and my interests, while, unbeknownst to me, a spectrometer was measuring my voice.
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Oct
25
The way I see it, sometimes the simplest things are the sexiest.
You can put on a corset and collar, low-cut bustier, micro-mini skirt and fishnet stockings, spiked thigh-high boots and dramatic makeup and you’ll have something screaming sexy, no doubt.
But, in my view, that’s trying too hard. And the results are more shrill than “sexy” should be.
Sexy is a mood, a feeling… it is something sensual and deep rather than painted on superficially. Its subtlety is what makes it so powerful… it is almost an ambush the way it overwhelms its prey…
Read More»Sep
28
Following on from the last post, I figure that as an exercise in personal evolution and introspection, I could try to give being a “pretty man” a try and see how it feels.
In some sense, it occupies a middle ground between regular guy and trans woman, so maybe I can find a way to get my mind around the concept.
As a start, I went out this past weekend to a party with friends, and then out for a late bite dressed as you see in the photo. (I did not dare put on makeup.)
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Aug
31
Getting dressed has always been a pretty consistent process in my life.
Depending on the affair, choose the outfit, pick out a pair of shoes that match in both style and color, and off you go.
Well, not today.
I decided, based on a whim, that I wanted to wear a certain pair of shoes: my wedgie beige sandals with flowers on top.
It was my mood.
I wanted shoes with whimsy, and I wanted to show off my new pedicure.
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Aug
19
I had my hair done the other day and I have to say that I am coming to love the salon experience, even if it always ends with an obscenely large bill.
A couple of years ago, I came to the conclusion that a wig was too artificial-feeling, too hot, and too fake-looking to allow me to be comfortable and feel natural being Janie. I don’t judge others, and I realize many tgirls feel differently about this – or have no choice – but the way I come at this thing personally, internally, it really became a matter of self-respect for me.
So, I started by trying to find a sympathetic place where they would cut my hair in such a way that it could pass for a girl’s do, but still was a serviceable male cut.
A few sessions of that led me to the conclusion that if I was ever going to be happy with my girl look, my hair was going to have to be distinctly feminine. I wasn’t going to reshape my face surgically, so my hair had to do it for me.
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Aug
15
I always let you know when I have had a new thought or new experience, sometimes profound, sometimes, well, not so much.
So, within the definite scope of the latter, I present to you a recount of my latest new experience as a girl.
I got dressed this morning in a cute pink t-shirt and low-waisted white denim capris, with white pumps. Bleary-eyed and in serious need of my coffee, I flipped on the machine and read some of the newspaper while it did its magic.
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Jul
13
So there I was, getting out of my car in my coolest and loveliest sundress. I locked the car and put my keys in my purse. Then, hoisting my purse onto my shoulder, I walked behind the car, preparing to cross the street.
I heard a metallic clank and looked down and back to see a sewer grate. What could have made the noise, I wondered. I knew my keys were in my purse. So was my cellphone. And, my sunglasses were on my head.
Oh well, could have been anything… I had to pee, so I went on my way.
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Jun
23
I must say that a tgirl sees some funny things in the mirror.
Oftentimes, that humor is but a manifestation of a little inner pain and confusion, but a little laughter is nice medicine.
One such incident just occurred as I changed clothes.
I spent the day with my hair tied back and in manly clothes doing the pinstripe thing, and when I got home, I just wanted to wear something more comfortable.
Read More»Jun
01
Ok, I’ve gone stark raving mad over shoes these last weeks.
Usually, I buy a bunch stateside and satisfy my hunger for a time, but this year, I never got my chance to buy any there.
When I returned, I realized that I had a gaping hole in my shoe collection – nothing white, and one solitary bone-colored pump that I had worn to death.
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