lest we forget
Nov

11

Not All Fun and Games – Lest We Forget

Politics and Opinion / Transgender Life  Posted by / 4 comments

We often take our liberties for granted, especially those of us who live where tolerance is common and sensitivity is expected.

But there is a time to reflect on the price that people have paid in places where differences are justification for oppression, or in times that were not so enlightened as these.

Exhibit #1  Memorializing 2011

Memorializing 2011 lists trans people murdered around the world.

I am struck by the fact that these people died simply for doing what I do any time I feel like it with nary a second thought.

Not unnoticed, at least by me, is the marked preference among assailants for the intimate personal touch of killing imparted by the use of a knife rather than a gun.

Read More»
transgender day of remembrance
Nov

10

Remembrance

Politics and Opinion / Transgender Life  Posted by / 0 comments

We in Canada are proud to say that in our nation’s capital, during the weekend of Transgender Remembrance Day (November 18 – 20), there will be a flag raising at the Ottawa Police Headquarters, honoring the trans community specifically.

It is ground-breaking to be recognized on our own, outside of the GLBT umbrella, of which we seem so often to be a marginal part.

Further significance attaches to the fact that it is the police that are doing this for us, despite the mistrust of many in the trans community of the police.

Read More»
Nov

09

A Better Woman

Health and Beauty / Transgender Life  Posted by / 5 comments

Last time, I spoke of practicality (horrors!) in terms of feminine footwear, and related it to passability.  This is a bit of an addendum to that post.

While part of me wants to be as authentic a woman as possible, another part recognizes that tgirls are, by definition, exceptional women – exceptionally good, bad or just different, we are not the same.

I have often made a point of saying how much I feel that being a tgirl is being a special, wonderful, rare creature.

So, I am well aware that simply striving to be a woman like every other is not always the goal.

I am not entirely without sympathy for the concept that guides some of us, that many GGs have come to take their femininity for granted and have dropped the ball.

We may want to pursue that so-called lost art of femininity, but even then, if it is to have any effect outside of the individuals doing it, it is still an evolution, not a revolution.

Read More»
Nov

07

HalloWhat?

Sexuality and Fantasy / Transgender Life  Posted by / 2 comments

Gabriela is a friend of mine, whom I have gotten to know through exchanging comments here and on flickr. She is smart and sexy and, of course, has experiences and perspectives to offer that are somewhat different from my own. I enjoyed reading about her experience on Halloween, and she has kindly agreed to share it with my readers.

GabrielaFor my first night out alone (without my usual female bodyguard) last Halloween I figured it would be a good idea to dress modest, at least by Halloween standards.No high heels, no deep cleavage, not much exposed skin, no drag-queen-like makeup, no XXL-sized boobies. Everything low-key.

I went to a public Halloween event and was surprised how much vinyl, leather and latex walks around and seems to be acceptable nowadays.

Very good, my chances to enjoy myself, dance all night and not run into someone who knows my alter ego or is annoying in general were good.

I’m not used to attend such huge public events, even less all alone.

Read More»
Nov

05

Capri pants / cropped pants fashion trend – Fashionising.com

Health and Beauty / Transgender Life  Posted by / 6 comments

Wow! Came across these fabulous capri pant looks while responding to a comment on a previous post.  Had to share ’em! (More at Fashionising.com)

 

flats
Nov

05

Flats Saved My Life

Health and Beauty / Transgender Life  Posted by / 12 comments

Ok, maybe a bit melodramatic… maybe saved my feet is more like it.

But, I have never had a love-type relationship with flats.  I think that women – and especially tgirls – look much better in heels.

The tgirl aspect is important.  Men tend to have larger feet and proportionately shorter legs than women, and heels address both concerns.  A bent foot is a smaller foot, and obviously a heel extends the length of the leg.

But, (I can’t believe I am saying this!!) there is a practical aspect to life as a woman.  GF will be relentless after hearing me say such a thing, but alas, it is true.

Until now, I have adopted the approach of taking along a pair of running shoes and wearing them on the treks from place to place, then changing into heels where people might see me.

But, aside from being inconvenient and forcing me to have a larger purse at certain times when when I might much prefer having that really cute small one, stuff happens while you’re on the way from A to B. 

Read More»
Nov

03

Non-Verbal Communication

Health and Beauty / Transgender Life  Posted by / 0 comments

Coming across as a woman involves communicating as one – and that’s a much broader concept than one’s actual voice.

Far from the direct and monotone, goal-oriented communication that men use, female speech is differently motivated and but one part of a much more complex form of communication.

To effect a feminine voice, you want to have an acceptable pitch – which is what most of us focus upon.  But, there are plenty of women with low voices who are never mistaken for men.  So dwell on that for a moment.

Read More»
Nov

01

The Ups and Downs of Switching Genders

Introspection / Transgender Life  Posted by / 29 comments

I gave the issues I last wrote about some more thought, and have a few ideas to share.

For me, being female is a joyous and intense state.  I am sociable, flirty and “on.” Being a guy is more of a contented and relaxed, comfortable thing.  Appropriate adjectives include strong, aware, capable.

Being Janie is still quite stressful for me – not so much about being discovered, or worrying about danger any more, but more about doing things that are outside my comfort zone.

I still have so much to remember to do (and not do) when being a woman, from voice to manner to posture – things that are not yet completely innate to me.

And then, socializing is not something that comes easily to me.  Though I have revelled in the friendships and interactions that I have achieved as Janie, meeting people has never been without stress for me.

Read More»
Oct

30

Equal and Opposite

Introspection / Transgender Life  Posted by / 14 comments

I hate to rain on the parade of the “I told you so”’s out there, but my wonder and joy at feeling so feminine while spending a solid week living as a woman has given way to an equal and opposite masculine feeling.

Since I have been back, I have had to be in a male mindset non-stop for almost a week, managing construction and landscaping issues and other business matters.  (Don’t ask!)

After all that solid guy time, my intention to switch to girly mode today for a Halloween Party tonight and tomorrow night has met with no small amount of internal resistance.

Read More»
Oct

29

Inner Voice

Health and Beauty / Transgender Life  Posted by / 8 comments

During this week, I have made a point of concentrating on the way I speak.  I mentioned last time that I took a voice lesson and attended seminars at Fantasia.  But, what I want to talk about now is what I am learning from myself, having spent the week focusing on my speech.

This is the first time I have not let myself off the hook in terms of communicating as a woman.  In public, in private, alone or on stage, talking to others or to myself (yes, I am nuts!), I insisted from myself that I speak as a woman.

I usually let my guard down when walking on the street or sitting at home talking about stuff with GF.  Not this week.  If I got upset, I’d often tend to fall back into guy voice to cope; not this week.  In fact, any time I found myself faltering in any way, I’d excuse myself and go to the bathroom and regroup (something that became less necessary as the week wore on).

Read More»