14
2013Outing Outdoors
One of the things I love most about summer are barbecues… cooking and eating outdoors, en plein air… cold, refreshing beer, the wafting of wood-fired smoke and aromas of slowly cooking meat, the special acoustic qualities of sky and trees on music out of doors, and good friends at a relaxed pace on a long weekend.
A perfect setting for an outing…
If you all will recall, I wrote a blog post about a month ago about my friends not getting the fairly glaring hint of my dress and manner on the last long weekend. I was resigned to outing myself to them then, but it never happened. Well, this time I put any doubts to rest.
Earlier in the week, I got my hair done, and added a little color to my life 😉 I have always been a redhead, but now it is really red! Good thing too, because an outing – like a barbecue, needs a good firestarter.
And, that it was… but my dear friends were intent on not making a big issue of it regardless, ‘cept for drawing comparisons to Shaun White. I, on the other hand, decided to take the opportunity to nudge the conversation in the right direction. Pretty soon, everything was on the table – including the Wicked Bananas and authentic Carolina Pulled Pork Sandwiches.
Yes, of course they had noticed my increasing femininity, but hadn’t jumped to any conclusions. Whatever it was, they were fine with it. When they found out exactly what it was, they insisted that my happiness was their only concern, that I was welcome whichever way I chose to be and, by the way, why would I ever think they would have a problem with it?
Hard to believe how fortunate I am!
Leannl
Janie,
True friends are just that … true. congrats.
Leann
Janie
Yes, but sometimes you only find out who your true friends are after the fact, right?
Leann
Yes. That is the really scary part. You don’t know who is true until you test them. It can be a big gamble but when it works it is soooo good.
Congratulations again.
Leann
Stana
That is wonderful news. I am so happy for you. And I love your hair!
Janie
Thanks, Stana. 🙂
Jane Douglas
Mystery resolved!
Glad to see it had a happy outcome for you. A lesson in there for all of us I think.
Jane
P.S. Love the new hair, you’re much better looking that Shaun White!
Janie
Oh, thank you Jane – but maybe if I could do that snowboarding thing…
A lesson indeed. It is hard to know sometimes if you are not giving the people in your life enough credit; then again, sometimes you give them too much. In addition, we do build up certain things in our minds as being insurmountable when they are just that – in our minds.
Shirley Corning
How very nice. I’m glad to hear it. You never know in advance. I have a very good friend who to this day struggles to relate to my gender identity but he honestly tries. He’s sure I’d be safer and better off as my old masculine self. He says in effect, “You should maintain your manly image and keep it cool. Don’t show anyone whatever girly side you have and you’ll be safe.” I used to think that. I was safe and miserable as a result. Now as one of the biggest mothers in town I think I’m safe enough and hardly defenseless. Oh I have a masculine side alright but no one should want to meet him now. He’s really grumpy if disturbed and if threatened will come rushing forward mad as Hell. Someone could really get hurt as a result and need emergency services. lol Fortunately no one has been so foolish to date or you might read about it in the news. My size makes it harder to pass but it also provides a defense. Like most people I don’t want to fight but I most certainly will in self defense or the defense of my loved ones. Isn’t it funny how siblings and family can fight like cats and dogs and that’s okay but let any outsider try and they get hit from all sides. Getting in the middle is not wise grasshopper. lol
That concludes this evening’s dissertation and rambling on. Sweet dreams everyone and with that I’ll get some sleep too.
Janie
Ah yes, the eternal conflict between safe (boring) and exciting (dangerous). We all have to find our best balance. That has been on my mind quite a bit lately.
Marci
WOW good for you
Janie
🙂
Jay
Congratulations! It often feels like the worries and anxieties we put ourselves through before making major moves wind up being far worse than what actually happens.
cyrsti
Soooo happy for you! Way to go!!!!!!