one-night stand
Oct

24

One-Night Stand – Thoughts

Sexuality and Fantasy / Transgender Life  Posted by / 1 comments

After my last two dating posts (Oops, I Did It Again – A Dating Post-Mortem and Dating and Sex – Smarter the Second Time), I want to elaborate on what may seem to many an inconsistent or schizophrenic dating approach. In fact, some may see me as teasing men and leading them on, only to slam the door in their faces.

I plead innocence. I never promise anything I won’t deliver, and I do my best to clearly set the limits, when I know what they are. To the extent I am confusing anyone, it is because I am still learning the ropes.

Anyway, there are no guarantees on a date and it is a woman’s prerogative to say no at any time. I am not playing games; rather I am trying to protect myself physically and emotionally as best I can. If I change my mind, it is because I am uncomfortable with my previous decision. It may be frustrating, but it is honest. Sorry.

I am a playful little kitten, and quite frankly, the idea of a one-night stand with a stranger is appealing, but only theoretically.

However, as a real-life thing, it is not such a good idea for three main reasons:

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T-girl with Red hair in red dress after dating at the club
Oct

22

Dating and Sex – Smarter the Second Time

Sexuality and Fantasy / Transgender Life  Posted by / 3 comments

I don’t know what’s in the water these days, but it seems that men have been unusually attentive to me lately.

I say this not to brag or anything, but rather to preface my second chance to do right where I stumbled last time (see Oops, I Did It Again – A Dating Post-Mortem).

This time, it was a much more attractive man with somewhat less skill in the socializing department than the previous candidate.

After some time hanging out together, he invited me up for the proverbial cup of coffee. I had a pretty good idea what was on his mind, but I went anyway, knowing that I was well prepared this time after my last affair and could handle whatever came my way without any chance of violating my rules.

Sure enough, the minute he got me alone he transformed into a lustful, panting man on the prowl, groping and such.

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ladies at Home Depot
Oct

20

Ladies, What Ladies?

Out in the World / Transgender Life  Posted by / 5 comments

It actually took me by surprise, my reaction to this clerk referring to me and my GF as “ladies.”

We started the day going out for coffee and pedicures, followed by a stop on our way home at Home Depot. We needed to get some answers about some work that needed to be done at our home, what was involved, whether we could do it ourselves or have to hire someone, what it all would cost, etc., etc.

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Oct

15

Oops, I Did It Again! – A Dating Post Mortem

Sexuality and Fantasy / Transgender Life  Posted by / 11 comments

Lovely night out, I had.

I met a guy who treated me wonderfully, respectfully, romantically. Ok, so he wasn’t an Adonis, but I found that it mattered less and less as the evening wore on.

We talked and flirted for quite a while. We even talked about food and drink and restaurants, and bandied about the idea of him taking me out for dinner in the future.

Eventually, he leaned in and kissed me. Nice.

Sadly, it was all downhill from there.

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Oct

10

Honoring My Roots – Y’know, Hair-wise

Health and Beauty / Modeling / Transgender Life  Posted by / 1 comments

Ah, the mysteries of hair color… They say that blondes have more fun. Heck they say I’m blonde… What do they know?

I’m a redhead – the rarest of the basic hair colors. We natural redheads constitute only 1-2% of humanity. Of redheads, Johnathan Swift wrote,

6b48eea19eccd8fc05a47d424aef7743“It is observed that the red-haired of both sexes are more libidinous and mischievous than the rest, whom yet they much exceed in strength and activity.”

Explains a lot… 😉

(For those who want to read more about redheads, try here.)

Anyhoo…

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respect
Oct

06

For Trans Women, Respect of Women is Self-Respect

Politics and Opinion / Transgender Life  Posted by / 7 comments

When I first started out as Janie, I heard that many people considered t-girls misogynistic. I couldn’t believe my ears, feeling that imitation is the highest form of flattery.

But, I do understand now.

There is a cohort of “t-girls” who disrespect themselves and in so doing disrespect women.

They assume the role of womanhood mainly for the purpose of co-opting feminine values in the service of their own masculine desires.

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skin deep
Oct

03

Skin Deep

Health and Beauty / Politics and Opinion / Transgender Life  Posted by / 1 comments

I am pretty hard on myself. But sometimes, the judgments I pass on myself have implications for my understanding of being a tgirl generally.

I sometimes see masculinity in myself in place of my femininity, and I recoil. I know I can fix it through an adjustment of clothing, makeup, hairstyle or attitude, and everything will be ok.

But, what if I couldn’t?

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gender norms not
Oct

01

Miss and Match

Politics and Opinion / Transgender Life  Posted by / 10 comments

I am still having trouble conceptualizing my feelings about gender in certain respects.

We are all, to some extent, a blend of the masculine and the feminine, and transfolk more emphatically so.

But I find certain manifestations of this hard to understand, even as I accept the person’s right to be the way they are.

I know I have mentioned this before but I think I have a bit of a better handle on it now: the way I perceive a photo of a man with a beard, wearing a dress. I am sorry, but I find it to be off-putting. This is just an honest reaction. Obviously his concept of what’s attractive and mine are quite different. Nothing wrong with that.

But, it sets me to wondering why I find his choices so unattractive…

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discord
Sep

29

Discord – Masculinity and Makeup in the Mirror

Introspection / Transgender Life  Posted by / 3 comments

I have spoken in the past about the feelings of discord that come from seeing my masculinity contaminate the feminine image I seek to project.

I have offered thoughts on the concept of shame and implied gender chauvinism (as in, “Why would you do that to a perfectly good guy?”).

But, I am coming to a different realization these days…

I don’t think it has anything to do with demeaning the male inside me, delusion or questions about the validity of my femininity.

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Sep

26

Role Modeling

Introspection / Transgender Life  Posted by / 9 comments

At least in terms of my physical sex, I know I am not female. No one has to tell me that. I am clearly – and will forever be – male. (There are those who will argue that no matter the hormones or surgery, a person cannot change their sex – but that is a discussion for another day, and an issue of concern more for transsexuals than people like me.)

Gender is different than sex. Sex refers to biological differences. i.e., chromosomes, hormonal profiles, internal and external sex organs. Gender describes the characteristics that a society or culture delineates as masculine or feminine. (This description comes from Monash University in Australia, but the concept is the same on a hundred other sites.)

My gender is often feminine. I am happy to be treated as a woman, and behave in line with society’s expectations on women, and I am a person fortunate enough to have the natural gifts to enable me to do so.

Is my spirit female? I don’t know. Is there even such a thing? Ditto.

Am I pretending or acting? Not really – I mean to the extent I am not used to being feminine and during the time it takes me to learn, some things are put on. But what is not put on or fake are my feelings and the desire to be feminine and to be treated as female.

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