tgirl

total lack of consideration for the trans community

Mad Mad World – No Consideration for Others

Has common sense gone out the window?  Have people no sense of decorum, or consideration for others?

I could do no better than to shake my head in disappointment and shame after reading a story published by SF Weekly (their blogs section @  /thesnitch/2011/06/crossdressing_man_us_airways.php) late last month.  It concerned the denial of boarding privileges to a black football player who was wearing sagging baggy pants that exposed his underwear, while, in a separate incident, allowing a white man in his 60s to board wearing only a bra and panties. (Click here for the original story. ed. note: link removed due to security concerns about originating site.)

This whole episode offends me on so many levels. 

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Date Night

I drove home alone late last night tormented with a feeling of disquiet… Puzzling sensation it was, since nothing of any great import had gone on, really.

Oncoming headlights whizzed by as thoughts floated through my mind’s eye, replaying the few hours just passed and trying to explain the pit in my stomach.

~ ~ * ~~

It had been, actually, a good night… to a point.

I went out to a club alone, and was greeted there by the smiles and open arms of a few friends. A while later, I found myself chatting with a couple, when a nice-looking man with a full head of greying hair approached and asked me to dance.

Nevermind that the song that was playing was the bane of my existence in high school (I won’t date myself by revealing its title), I happily accepted.

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Just Be

I have run a few posts questioning my sanity and wondering whether I should be doing this tgirl thing.

In response, a friend (possibly tiring of my incessant whining 😉 ) wrote in and advised me to stop overthinking my existence and just enjoy being who I am – “one pretty, feminine girl,” in her words.

My first thought in answer to her comment was, “I wish I were as sure as you are.”

But, a more interesting thought followed on its heels, as I wrote my response to her comment.

I said then, “Believe me, if the world around me laid down a path to happiness lined with pink flowers and lace, I’d not think twice about it.”

As the words escaped my keyboard, their truth rang out.

It seems that what is not among the many uncertainties with which I am grappling, is any doubt that I would be perfectly happy to live as a woman.

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Invisible

I am not accustomed to the political side of transgender life, so my attendance at today’s Trans March was a new thing for me.

As you can see from the photos, in the course of my participation, I happened to lend a hand to a couple of girls who were carrying a banner, and was photographed doing so.

Not a good idea for someone whose family and friends don’t know about my alter-ego. I had some concern I would end up on the front page of the newspaper and so made a point of checking the headlines and video.

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Pride Goeth Before the Summer

Being Pride Week hereabouts, I thought a post on Pride would be appropriate.  The title of this post is, of course, a play on the well-known biblical phrase from Proverbs.

So, what is Pride?  Well, depends who you ask.

These days, you are most apt to hear about it being a celebration of GLBT (+ an alphabet soup of other letters that have been appended thereto) rights, achievements, solidarity, community.

And, we have much to celebrate, and much awareness still to bring to the community at large; we have come far but have far to go.

But, much about the Pride parade has always made me uncomfortable. 

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stood up by unreliable date

Unreliable E-male

I have been chastising myself lately for being a bit too reclusive and not making enough of an effort to get out there and meet more people.  So, when a guy I met online asked me to coffee the other day, I decided that I’d just say yes.

Well, coffee was great, but he didn’t show up. (Hence, “Unreliable E-Male.”)

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Now Why Did I Start This?

Many of us t-girls struggle with doubts about whether what we are doing is natural or delusional, self-fulfilling or self-destructive… or is it just me?

The problem is one of perspective. 

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One with Nature

Sometimes it is nice to get outside on a beautiful day and commune with nature.

That was my inspiration today as I fled downtown after being stood up (that story another time).

 

One with Nature
So, I went for a walk on a trail,

among the birds and bees,

the leaves and trees,

the gravel and stone…

On my own,

really alone…

It put me at ease.

 

 

Revelations in the Mirror

I must say that a tgirl sees some funny things in the mirror.

Oftentimes, that humor is but a manifestation of a little inner pain and confusion, but a little laughter is nice medicine.

One such incident just occurred as I changed clothes.

I spent the day with my hair tied back and in manly clothes doing the pinstripe thing, and when I got home, I just wanted to wear something more comfortable.

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She is Not Me – Janet Mock

I go through many ups and downs in trying to figure out my own personal truth, and I have chronicled some of that on this blog.

In the midst of one recent period of questioning whether the whole thing was/is a sham – thoughts like “C’mon, I’ve always been a guy, still am; why am I doing this to myself?” – I came across the touching and uplifting story of Janet Mock, the beautiful and articulate People Magazine editor who came out as trans in a wonderful interview with Marie Claire magazine.

She has written a book and posted a video of encouragement to transgender youth on youtube (which I have for you, natch!)

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