Jan
01
Looking back on 2014 – not the best year, not the worst. I hope to do much better in 2015. It is high time I followed my heart and conquered my fears.
I am so happy for the friendships that I have made and hope to be a better friend to those I love. But, for now, all I can say is thanks for putting up with me, flaws and all.
Happy New Year!
Dec
22
I hope everyone’s been safe and sane all year, and that the holiday season brings you joy and happiness – and lots of good prezzies.
Here’s hoping those who choose to focus their energies and careers on running other people’s lives renew (of find for the first time) their true devotion to public service and love of their fellow human beings.
There is no excuse in this day and age in societies whose minds have expanded to assimilate the concepts of the human genome, nanotechnology and such, that those same minds can be closed to the relatively simple concepts of the endless variety of the human experience and the ways embracing diversity enriches the human race.
More to the point, how can we not realize the obvious fact that compassion and love given freely return far greater rewards than bigotry and hate.
Sep
02
“TGs in Tiaras” is the name given to a brand new event hereabouts.
It will be a glittering ball with everyone dressed to the nines in their finest gowns, cocktail dresses and formal attire. It is a nice idea and a great opportunity to get all made up, dolled up and dressed up.
For me, it is a doubly happy affair, as I have the honor of having been selected as the photographer for the event.
Mar
12
Here’s my dating advice for those of you interested in me or a trans woman like me…
Be a gentleman. It is so rare that you will instantly become a highly desirable commodity if you do that one little thing.
I understand that your sexual interest in me may have something to do with the ways in which I am different than a woman. You must understand that my interest in you will have everything to do with the ways in which I am the same as a woman.
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Dec
01
The other day, I saw a crime show on television called “Perception.” The basic premise of the particular episode in question involved a doctor who was “curing” men of their gay-ness by giving them a pleasure-inducing drug and having them have sex with women while feeling that pleasure. The idea was to create a permanent association between hetero sex and pleasure.
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Nov
14
Comments on my recent post about dealing with the temptation to get my ears pierced ran inevitably toward the idea that one should do what makes one happy, especially when it comes to one’s body.
I replied there and repeat here, that we live among people, and the quality of our lives depends to a great extent on the relationships we create.
To be able to put at risk relationships that have endured decades on the hope that others of comparable richness will rise to take their place is an act of courage, no doubt.
I understand that a person has to be true to herself. But, in many issues – and perhaps in most of the issues of complex soul-searching – the truth is not so clear, at least to me.
Others seem to see my true nature so much more clearly than I can, and I have to ask myself whether I am being dense or they are jumping to unwarranted conclusions.
I know that a big part of my hesitation is that I am at a stage where moving forward is a big step – perhaps not so much externally as conceptually. Not moving forward is also a big decision, but not deciding is less so.
It would be nice to just allow myself to float the way my emotions lead.
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Oct
03
I am pretty hard on myself. But sometimes, the judgments I pass on myself have implications for my understanding of being a tgirl generally.
I sometimes see masculinity in myself in place of my femininity, and I recoil. I know I can fix it through an adjustment of clothing, makeup, hairstyle or attitude, and everything will be ok.
But, what if I couldn’t?
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Sep
19
I recently asked what purpose is served by splitting everyone up along gender lines. Today, I will offer a different perspective.
In my own personal experience, the reason I conceive of myself as either male or female, depending on which I am at the time, is because that is the way I understand other people.
Despite my particular situation, being a creature that can live on either side of the gender line, even I still understand humanity in male/female terms. Whatever gender variations are out there, I see them measured on the man-woman spectrum.
Read More»Sep
15
I think there is an implied conceit among many men that they are the drivers of what matters and that females are mere adornments. I believe that my post about chauvinism in that old tv series Banacek shows the kind of thinking I am talking about.
Oh sure, men are evolving, and women too. But, I think that buried deep in the psyche of both sexes, this attitude still lurks.
One manifestation of that is the feeling that some tgirls get that somehow becoming female is a step down, or a disrespecting of their masculinity. Some actually enjoy “demeaning themselves” in this way, finding a need to punish or humiliate themselves for some reason.
Reinforcing this sense of the inferiority of the feminine gender, some women will ask why a man would ever want to become female, as if being male is easier, better, more privileged. Of course, it is understood why women want to become more like men…
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Sep
10
Y’know, I asked the question a few posts back on the essence of womanhood, or what it means to be a woman, but then I barely touched on the answer.
There are those who focus on body parts. Others insist that it is chromosomes that matter.
I think that on a practical basis, both miss the point.
The way I see it, a person who goes out in the world as a woman, behaves as women are known to behave, accepts the privileges and restrictions that pertain to women… that person is, for all practical purposes, a woman.
Of course, male-bodied individuals who wish to assume this role cannot conceive children, but many women-born-women cannot either.
Is there a good reason to restrict our conception of women to those with the right body parts or chromosomes? I don’t really see it.
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