I recently asked what purpose is served by splitting everyone up along gender lines. Today, I will offer a different perspective.

In my own personal experience, the reason I conceive of myself as either male or female, depending on which I am at the time, is because that is the way I understand other people.

Despite my particular situation, being a creature that can live on either side of the gender line, even I still understand humanity in male/female terms. Whatever gender variations are out there, I see them measured on the man-woman spectrum.

And, it makes sense.

Most People Never Think of Gender

The vast majority of people never give their gender a moment’s thought, always knowing instinctively which they are. They understand everyone along those lines as well. If it is prevalent enough and persistent enough, perhaps gender variation can slowly creep into the social consciousness of society over time.

But, that won’t happen in a usable timeframe for me.

The reality that I have to deal with is that functioning in society is far simpler if I present an easy-to-understand image. But beyond helping others understand me, it is useful even to allow me to understand myself.

Both, You Say?

On some level, I know that I am both in one package. I am a woman with male parts; I am a man with feminine yearnings.

Yet, I still cannot conceive of how to be both at the same time. A person cannot at the same time: be strong and weak, stand or sit like a man and like a woman, speak softly and stridently, be dominant and submissive, yell and cry, have a beard and a pretty face, and so on. There are some gender combinations that work for me, and others that simply o not.

I recently came across a photostream of a bearded guy who likes to wear dresses. Nothing morally wrong there, but it offends my personal sensibilities. Ditto for men who prance around and speak effeminately.

But, what’s the philosophical distinction between what they are doing and what I am doing? Sure, you could say it is just different flavors of ice cream; some people like vanilla; others are crazy for chocolate.

Consolidation is Harder Than It Looks

I think there is more to it, and here’s my guess: I do not combine genders in any perceptible sense – or at least to the very minimum possible. I do have long hair, and long nails and a hairless body because these add far more to my femininity than they detract from my masculinity. But, I endeavor to hide such things in my male life to the extent possible; I leave the guy behind when I am Janie; and vice versa.

So, basically, while I do what I can to hide gender contradictions, they make a point of them.

I will admit that it would be nice to have one life, one name… just forget about gender… What if we just say that I am a person who likes to look pretty, likes dating people of any gender, is sometimes strong and dominant, and other times, submissive and nurturing, and so on? Where does that get me?

Nowhere good. Practically speaking, I expect that it would consolidate my life into… one big mess. Looking pretty around my golfing buddies, business associates or parents will only serve to confuse, confound, upset and amuse them.

Not exactly what I’m after… Any thoughts out there?