Mar
05
I am, at times, very confused about who or what I am, and where this is taking me and my life. One minute, I can be ecstatic about being Janie, loving my femininity and my sexuality, tingling all over at the sheer energy I get from being her… and the next minute, I am wondering what kind of freak I am, why I pretend to be a woman when I am a man, how much of a destructive distraction all this is: harming my future, undermining my ambitions, risking my reputation, messing with my sexuality and threatening my relationship.
I think that one of the main impelling forces toward Janie’s emergence was sheer boredom with my life.
In some measure, I had worked all my life to achieve this so-called boredom.
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Jan
31
Lately, for whatever reason, my libido has been running on overdrive.
And, that goes for both sides of my being.
Just yesterday I was sitting in a cafe, wearing a tank top and jeans, when I felt this guy brush against the back of my bare shoulders on his way by. My skin was atingle, hoping he might stop and say hello… sadly, to no avail…
Then, today, as a guy, I saw a movie trailer, and the vision of the porcelain-skinned Emily Blunt in a low-cut dress had me swooning, and fantasizing like an adolescent boy.
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Jan
24
How fast a year goes by, but here we are again in January, and it is time for the 2nd annual “In the Pink Award.”
The inaugural award was an occasion of unabashedly debatable distinction, chronicled by media outlets far and wide… ahem… beginning and ending here, on my blog.
Quip as I might, it is entirely self-deprecating, with not a smidgeon of deprecation left over for the honoree. My admiration and respect for the winner (and now winners) is utterly genuine and heartfelt.
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Jan
13
On the occasion of the new year, I have been going through past photos and seeing how I have changed over time.
Here’s one from a few years back, when my hair was much shorter than it is now.
So tell me, do you prefer me with long hair, short hair or somewhere in between?
Jan
09
I’m a baaad girl sometimes.
Not in any nefarious sense, but I do like to play with people’s minds sometimes, even if it ends up that it is only playing with my own.
I spoke recently (here) about having to remember which gender I am at any given time, but sometimes I do remember quite well that I’m supposed to be a guy, but yet throw in some feminine gender cues on purpose just to see what reaction there might be.
I don’t know if it is just passive-aggressiveness, a secret desire to be discovered and end this double life, or just the mischievous person I have always been, looking for just a little bit of trouble…
Read More»Jan
07
Yesterday was a milestone of sorts for me in that my first ever guest post appeared, on T-Central.
As I mentioned there, T-Central is a wonderful effort put forth by Calie and her team, bringing together so many wonderful blogs and bloggers in one place. It’s a great place to find many different points of view and experiences.
That said, I was surprised to see that the comments on this special “Crossdresser Experience” series of guest posts evidenced resistance by some transsexual posters to any assertions of genuine femininity by crossdressers – something I found disappointing, and frankly beyond comprehension (not so much the logic but the motivation).
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Dec
30
Take me as I am! This girl doesn’t always smile. Sometimes she can be sultry, sometimes she can be miserable… sometimes she can try to look sultry and end up looking miserable. Oh, well!
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Nov
20
I am finding that the more time I spend as Jane, the more natural it becomes to act like her… and the more effort I have to make to “act” like a boy when I’m him.
Read More»Nov
15
Getting out of the house without being seen, or at least without outing myself is becoming a major problem in my life these days, as I start to go out regularly during the day.
Today, I was wearing a high-waisted short teal blue denim skirt with sexy white stockings, a blousy white top and black riveted belt. The look was completed with my lovely Calvin Klein high-heeled boots.
The short, but exposed walk to my car in that outfit was bound to catch someone’s eye – after all, that’s part of the outfit’s appeal, isn’t it?
Read More»Sep
13
After a handful of days in Montreal, it suddenly dawned on me that I don’t have to go all the way to San Diego for a place to be free and easy and Janie.
The realization came to me as I was walking down the street looking for a cafe for our Labor Day morning coffee and breakfast. I’m out and about, wearing scarcely any makeup, in jeans and a t-shirt, and I am as comfortable as can be. No one looks at me strangely; no one bothers me. I am treated with respect and courtesy…
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