Nov
17
In the past, I posted my thoughts on some complex transgender issues, but somehow rarely found time to post about just living life.
Not everything is drama, or even deep. In fact very little is.
We go about our days just living life and being who we are. Sounds boring – and that’s probably why I didn’t write about it before – but if one posts nothing but inner questioning and the like, people tend to get the impression that you are troubled. 😛
So, I’d like to provide a more realistic perspective of my life as a transwoman – largely free of
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Dec
22
I hope everyone’s been safe and sane all year, and that the holiday season brings you joy and happiness – and lots of good prezzies.
Here’s hoping those who choose to focus their energies and careers on running other people’s lives renew (of find for the first time) their true devotion to public service and love of their fellow human beings.
There is no excuse in this day and age in societies whose minds have expanded to assimilate the concepts of the human genome, nanotechnology and such, that those same minds can be closed to the relatively simple concepts of the endless variety of the human experience and the ways embracing diversity enriches the human race.
More to the point, how can we not realize the obvious fact that compassion and love given freely return far greater rewards than bigotry and hate.
Mar
04
The fluid nature of gender roles over time provides more proof that what it means to be a man changes depending on the era and the culture and probably the circumstances. It is common to cling to current sensibilities as if they were pronounced from on high, but recall that the Roman soldiers wore skirts into battle and the males in French aristocracy in the middle of the last millennium wore long hair, wigs, heels, etc.
Mind you, I am not sure the role differences changed as much as the expectations for clothes and appearance.
I respect everyone’s right to choose their gender role, but for myself, I confess to liking the idea of men and women who are distinctly different.
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Jan
03
My morning’s email brought with it a bunch of digital photos of me and my family over the holidays, and my reaction to them was not positive.
What I saw were the kind of photos where, years later, a next generation asks, “Who’s that weird-looking guy in this picture?” and the answer is something like, “Oh, he was some crazy uncle… I heard he was a nice enough guy, but obviously quite strange…”
Looking at the photo was troubling not because of the judgment of others, but because of my own verdict, to wit: one strange bird among several normal-looking people.
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Oct
22
I don’t know what’s in the water these days, but it seems that men have been unusually attentive to me lately.
I say this not to brag or anything, but rather to preface my second chance to do right where I stumbled last time (see Oops, I Did It Again – A Dating Post-Mortem).
This time, it was a much more attractive man with somewhat less skill in the socializing department than the previous candidate.
After some time hanging out together, he invited me up for the proverbial cup of coffee. I had a pretty good idea what was on his mind, but I went anyway, knowing that I was well prepared this time after my last affair and could handle whatever came my way without any chance of violating my rules.
Sure enough, the minute he got me alone he transformed into a lustful, panting man on the prowl, groping and such.
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Oct
15
Lovely night out, I had.
I met a guy who treated me wonderfully, respectfully, romantically. Ok, so he wasn’t an Adonis, but I found that it mattered less and less as the evening wore on.
We talked and flirted for quite a while. We even talked about food and drink and restaurants, and bandied about the idea of him taking me out for dinner in the future.
Eventually, he leaned in and kissed me. Nice.
Sadly, it was all downhill from there.
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26
At least in terms of my physical sex, I know I am not female. No one has to tell me that. I am clearly – and will forever be – male. (There are those who will argue that no matter the hormones or surgery, a person cannot change their sex – but that is a discussion for another day, and an issue of concern more for transsexuals than people like me.)
Gender is different than sex. Sex refers to biological differences. i.e., chromosomes, hormonal profiles, internal and external sex organs. Gender describes the characteristics that a society or culture delineates as masculine or feminine. (This description comes from Monash University in Australia, but the concept is the same on a hundred other sites.)
My gender is often feminine. I am happy to be treated as a woman, and behave in line with society’s expectations on women, and I am a person fortunate enough to have the natural gifts to enable me to do so.
Is my spirit female? I don’t know. Is there even such a thing? Ditto.
Am I pretending or acting? Not really – I mean to the extent I am not used to being feminine and during the time it takes me to learn, some things are put on. But what is not put on or fake are my feelings and the desire to be feminine and to be treated as female.
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Sep
12
One of the major differences between men and women is the time we spend on ourselves.
There is an incredible amount of work that goes into properly grooming oneself as a woman.
There is constant attention to detail, like carefully washing one’s face every day, exfoliating, then moisturizing the face and eyes separately. There is a regimen for the evening and another in the morning.
There is nail care, and hair care, and body hair removal by waxing or shaving or whatever. There is scraping off dead skin on hands and feet or wherever it appears.
A girl has to moisturize her whole body, get occasional facials, do masks and peels and so on.
Her hair has to be styled often, and there are myriad of products to be applied at different times for differing purposes. Frequent visits to the salon are advisable.
Then, the clothes, and the shoes…
Even going to bed, a girl has to look her best, so there’s lingerie and bathrobes and slippers…
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Sep
10
Y’know, I asked the question a few posts back on the essence of womanhood, or what it means to be a woman, but then I barely touched on the answer.
There are those who focus on body parts. Others insist that it is chromosomes that matter.
I think that on a practical basis, both miss the point.
The way I see it, a person who goes out in the world as a woman, behaves as women are known to behave, accepts the privileges and restrictions that pertain to women… that person is, for all practical purposes, a woman.
Of course, male-bodied individuals who wish to assume this role cannot conceive children, but many women-born-women cannot either.
Is there a good reason to restrict our conception of women to those with the right body parts or chromosomes? I don’t really see it.
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Sep
04
As I have said previously, just being Janie is not enough. A person has to do something, be something.
Since I wrote that post, I have been busy working on creating my new site, and on opening up the possibilities of doing both modeling and photography. Other stuff is in the works.
It is not as if I had a lot of time on my hands before, but now that my girl life is taking on some real challenges and consuming more of my time and my thoughts, I have started to feel something strange.
For the first time, I have actually sought out my male side as a respite from the pressure of my female life.
I think it is quite common for guys with a female side to seek to escape the responsibilities and difficulties in their lives by turning to her. Among the many motivations I have discussed for my becoming Janie, this one was present.
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