As I have said previously, just being Janie is not enough. A person has to do something, be something.

Since I wrote that post, I have been busy working on creating my new site, and on opening up the possibilities of doing both modeling and photography. Other stuff is in the works.

It is not as if I had a lot of time on my hands before, but now that my girl life is taking on some real challenges and consuming more of my time and my thoughts, I have started to feel something strange.

For the first time, I have actually sought out my male side as a respite from the pressure of my female life.

I think it is quite common for guys with a female side to seek to escape the responsibilities and difficulties in their lives by turning to her. Among the many motivations I have discussed for my becoming Janie, this one was present.

But now, the tables have turned. As Janie, I am pushing myself towards doing things that I am not sure I am able to do, and I’m concerned still about the consequences of leading a female life in terms of the harm it may bring to my existing life, and I keep rehashing the questions of whether being Janie is something I should really commit to.

So, sometimes just going back to the familiar for a little rest feels good. But, it obviously also points out the limits to my escapism.

Whether she stands on his shoulders or he on hers, I have to get over that wall. Ironically, in some sense it is comforting to realize that there is nowhere else to turn.

Just take a deep breath, then up and over!