Mar
17
I’ve been Ma’am-ed before on several occasions while in male mode, but this is a whole new thing.
When someone refers to you as “Ma’am,” they see you as a blank stranger – another person in line, a customer, someone in their way… whatever.
But, today, I was getting on the plane, and a fairly good-looking man in his 40s or 50s stepped out of the aisle to let me pass, looking straight into my eyes with a smile and softly saying, “Go ahead, dear.”
Certainly not an affirmation of my masculinity, that’s for sure!
I am equal parts puzzled, concerned and pleased.
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Feb
23
For the first time in a long time I found myself thrilled to spend a day as a guy.
I’d almost forgotten how wonderful that can be.
So much so, that when I was doing some writing a month or so ago, I had more than a little difficulty finding any reason that truly resonated inside as to why a person would want to be a guy.
But manhood can be quite a rush. A powerful feeling and a feeling of power. A feeling of strength and control and competence in a way that’s completely different from the feminine versions of those things. (This is an astounding contrast with the feelings I expressed in this post from last summer.)
If I had to find a metaphor, it would be, um… shoes. Masculine shoes and feminine shoes. Oxfords and high heels.
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Feb
17
I went to one of my favorite cafés today, and who should I run into but an old friend of mine whom I hadn’t seen in months.
It just so happens I was coming from a doctor’s appointment; otherwise, yep, I’d have absolutely been in heels and hosiery!
Phew!
This city, that is so large and has provided such good cover for me these past few years, is starting to feel awfully small.
Feb
08
I had a date with the judge today on the small matter of a particularly vexing parking ticket.
I don’t normally fight these things – they are SUCH a waste of time! – but the sneaky guy actually gave me the ticket while I was in the car.
So, I got dressed in a sports jacket, black trousers and white shirt, tied my hair back in a neat low pony tail and went to court.
I presented myself to the prosecutor, who took a quick look at me, and said, “And, what’s the name, ma’am?”
I showed her the ticket with my male name on it.
Unfazed, she inquired, “Are you his representative?”
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Jan
30
[…continued from Play or Pass…]
What does a girl say to a guy she finds handsome and sweet and funny and sexy, who wants to take her to bed with him?
Apparently, this girl says, “No.”
I was not playing games, not teasing him. And, it wasn’t anything like saving myself so that he would respect me in the morning.
Turning down a guy I felt like I wanted to be with was admittedly contradictory, illogical, unpredictable… but also, totally honest, spiritually driven and a move towards intimacy rather than away from it.
I passed on the opportunity for sex mostly because, amazingly, I wanted something else even more.
Read More»Jan
23
[…continued from Punctured Charm…]
I was getting on just fine with this guy I met at my fave bar.
Physical attraction? Check. Personal connection? Check. Mutual desire? Check.
We were doing pretty well.
“C’mon, let’s go,” he said.
In the course of our conversation, he had described some of the things he wanted to do to me and the way he would treat me, and what he would have me do to him, and it was exactly as if he was reading my fantasies to me. (Perhaps not the classiest things in the world to say to me at our first meeting, but I was in a forgiving mood. :P)
I tossed around the possibilities in my mind. Should I? …
(Conclusion, next week.)
Jan
09
I was having a pretty ordinary night out and was about to start making my way home when someone gently touched my arm. I turned around to see who it was, and there he was… yum!
The handsome guy standing before me was dressed smartly in all-black. I knew him from several online chats we had months earlier. He was kind of an alluring rascal: a sex-obsessed scallywag with an impish grin and a wry sense of humor.
But, standing there in front of me, dressed up nice, my oh my, he was a real cutie!
“You have no idea who I am,” he said.
“Oh, but I do,” I smiled, willing my eyes to sparkle, if that’s possible.
Read More»Dec
27
(…continued from Missed It By That Much)
I ran into the wife of a friend of mine, in a place where and at a time when I often would go as Janie; fortunately I was in guy mode. She happened to mention that she frequents a nearby cafe for lunch that I have often gone to as Janie (though never at lunchtime).
So, I missed being discovered by the skin of my teeth, now what?
Nobody said life as Janie would be dull, right? (…kinda the point… though I can do without this particular kind of excitement.)
Clearly, if she had “caught” me, all my friends would have known in fairly short order. Once a wildfire starts spreading, it is difficult to contain, so it is impossible to know how far the flames would have spread.
By the 6 degrees of separation theory, it is more than a little possible that the news would reach the ears of people I absolutely do not want knowing.
Dealing with my friends would not be optimal, but I would cope. There would be changes, to be sure, but who knows how things come out the other end? People often surprise you.
But certain people don’t – and those are my bigger worry. Again, I’d survive, but I’d much rather not have to go through that.
So, is it worth the chance I am taking to be able to freely walk the streets?
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Nov
05
Ok, maybe a bit melodramatic… maybe saved my feet is more like it.
But, I have never had a love-type relationship with flats. I think that women – and especially tgirls – look much better in heels.
The tgirl as
pect is important. Men tend to have larger feet and proportionately shorter legs than women, and heels address both concerns. A bent foot is a smaller foot, and obviously a heel extends the length of the leg.
But, (I can’t believe I am saying this!!) there is a practical aspect to life as a woman. GF will be relentless after hearing me say such a thing, but alas, it is true.
Until now, I have adopted the approach of taking along a pair of running shoes and wearing them on the treks from place to place, then changing into heels where people might see me.
But, aside from being inconvenient and forcing me to have a larger purse at certain times when when I might much prefer having that really cute small one, stuff happens while you’re on the way from A to B.
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Nov
03
Coming across as a woman involves communicating as one – and that’s a much broader concept than one’s actual voice.
Far from the direct and monotone, goal-oriented communication that men use, female speech is differently motivated and but one part of a much more complex form of communication.
To effect a feminine voice, you want to have an acceptable pitch – which is what most of us focus upon. But, there are plenty of women with low voices who are never mistaken for men. So dwell on that for a moment.
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