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2011Lustful Longings
Lately, for whatever reason, my libido has been running on overdrive.
And, that goes for both sides of my being.
Just yesterday I was sitting in a cafe, wearing a tank top and jeans, when I felt this guy brush against the back of my bare shoulders on his way by. My skin was atingle, hoping he might stop and say hello… sadly, to no avail…
Then, today, as a guy, I saw a movie trailer, and the vision of the porcelain-skinned Emily Blunt in a low-cut dress had me swooning, and fantasizing like an adolescent boy.
Why my hormones are on high-alert is a mystery to me, and more surprising is the male side.
For most of the last few years, my sexuality has been dominated by my feminine perspective. Excepting my GF of course, the somewhat crudely-framed epithet: “rather be her than be with her” has been pretty much on the mark for me, when confronted with a beautiful woman.
So, imagine my surprise when these masculine sexual thoughts jumped to the fore…
In the same vein, there have been recent episodes where I have regressed to seeing myself as a feminine object of desire as distinguished from just my girl self. I can’t remember feeling that way since the first days of my crossdressing.
Just goes to show that my feminine development is anything but a straight line.
Cassie
Oh Jesus Janie!
I Like Girls : )
In fact, that’s about the only way I can get excited!
I’m not sure why I don’t get that fired up as my real self though?
Now I’ve got these ideas in my head…
cdjanie
Cassie, I’m always interested in hearing whatever it is that rattling around in your cranium… do tell 😉
Shirley Corning
I’ve never heard it put that way Janie, “rather be her than do her”, but I’ve had thoughts along those lines many times and can certainly relate to it. I’ve also had periods of libido overdrive but I’ve never wished a man would pay any attention to me. Would you say your sexual orientation leans towards bi-sexual to some extent? My homme self is strictly heterosexual and I am a potentially very busy bi-sexual as I envision it. Seems like a contradiction and I have difficulty explaining it. As a young man I had a poor self image and didn’t see myself as attractive to women. Too bad because some of them unbeknownst to me were attracted.
What you’ve got me thinking about is all the other Ts out there and in what ways the thoughts and deeds of wearing women’s apparel affect their sexual thoughts and deeds. My credulity would flag to find any who would say crossdressing and women’s apparel have had no effect on their sexual thoughts and deeds. I’ll bet. It would be very interesting to know how they think women’s apparel effects their sexual orientation.
Best wishes all and goodnight,
Shirley
cdjanie
Shirley, your comment is well taken, but I would quibble with the idea that women’s apparel affects one’s sexual orientation. To use Gwen’s brilliant words (http://gwentgirl.blogspot.com), “I find the real truth is, that which cross-dressing makes visible, has been there, inside, all along. The dressing makes it visible for the world to see, for myself to see. The illusion is the reality.” As for my own personal orientation, I’ve pretty much done my best to explain it in my About Me page.
trish dubois
Gwen is right on the mark. Due to marriage, family, money, career and all that sort of stuff I was forced to dabble with little pieces of all “this” most of my life. Had a VERY good life, but something was missing. Seven years ago, after coming into some “private” money, I was able to go where I always wanted to go. It was at a Best Western Motel that Trish DuBois was “born”. For the first time in my life I was dressed/made up from head to toe just the way I wanted. It was quiet, peaceful and as I walked around the room sipping red wine I felt a sense of relief. I felt like a space traveler who had be wandering aimlessly through the universe and had finally found a home. I remember staring at myself in the full length mirror and realizing I had finally met the person that had been inside me all those years. It was a great feeling. As to my “orientation”, I enjoy being with people who are nice to each other and simply want to enjoy life and moments of sensual pleasure, men or women.
trish dubois
I forgot the most important thing. When I am with people as Trish DuBois I have NOTHING TO HIDE! I can be totally honest about all my thoughts of love, hope, sex and dreams (from the BoDeans).
Trish
Shirley Corning
After reviewing everything and giving it some more thought I’d have to say I was getting it backwards. The apparel doesn’t create the thought. Gwen is right. The thought is already there and the apparel is added to express it.
Your about me implies pansexual fantisies but your reality is conservative. Likewise my reality has always been conservative and monogamous while Shirley’s fantasies are just short of a nymphomaniac’s. Apparently much of the overall populace has similar differnces between their reality and their fantasies. I looked up group sex on Wikipedia.com and under a subsection titled Prevalence it said, “Fantasies of group sex are extremely common among both men and women. In major studies, between 54%-88% of people fantasize about watching others have sex, 40%-42% fantasize about being watched by others, and between 39%-72% fantasize about bondage.” Sounds like much of America and most of the world is fantasizing away like crazy. Well that cheers me up a bit to think we’ve got plenty of fantasizing company. Who wants to be the only nut on the tree?
I have to agree also that Emily Blunt could not only stop traffic but cause a pileup.
Well thanks Janie. That was another thought provoking go around.
klyde
Funny I have that same issue when I see your pics ;).
cdjanie
Was that you who brushed by me in that cafe? 😉
klyde
I should have been so lucky.