Oct
06
When I first started out as Janie, I heard that many people considered t-girls misogynistic. I couldn’t believe my ears, feeling that imitation is the highest form of flattery.
But, I do understand now.
There is a cohort of “t-girls” who disrespect themselves and in so doing disrespect women.
They assume the role of womanhood mainly for the purpose of co-opting feminine values in the service of their own masculine desires.
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Oct
01
I am still having trouble conceptualizing my feelings about gender in certain respects.
We are all, to some extent, a blend of the masculine and the feminine, and transfolk more emphatically so.
But I find certain manifestations of this hard to understand, even as I accept the person’s right to be the way they are.
I know I have mentioned this before but I think I have a bit of a better handle on it now: the way I perceive a photo of a man with a beard, wearing a dress. I am sorry, but I find it to be off-putting. This is just an honest reaction. Obviously his concept of what’s attractive and mine are quite different. Nothing wrong with that.
But, it sets me to wondering why I find his choices so unattractive…
Read More»Sep
26
At least in terms of my physical sex, I know I am not female. No one has to tell me that. I am clearly – and will forever be – male. (There are those who will argue that no matter the hormones or surgery, a person cannot change their sex – but that is a discussion for another day, and an issue of concern more for transsexuals than people like me.)
Gender is different than sex. Sex refers to biological differences. i.e., chromosomes, hormonal profiles, internal and external sex organs. Gender describes the characteristics that a society or culture delineates as masculine or feminine. (This description comes from Monash University in Australia, but the concept is the same on a hundred other sites.)
My gender is often feminine. I am happy to be treated as a woman, and behave in line with society’s expectations on women, and I am a person fortunate enough to have the natural gifts to enable me to do so.
Is my spirit female? I don’t know. Is there even such a thing? Ditto.
Am I pretending or acting? Not really – I mean to the extent I am not used to being feminine and during the time it takes me to learn, some things are put on. But what is not put on or fake are my feelings and the desire to be feminine and to be treated as female.
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Sep
22
I never cease to wonder why people care what’s in your pants…
I mean, if I am out there as a woman, why would anyone make an issue out of my physical gender?
I think there is a basic shift that takes place for many people depending on whether they are dealing with a man or a woman.
There are expectations and prejudgments that go along with each, just as there are with older or younger, well-groomed or sloppy and so on.
But none is so basic as gender.
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Sep
19
I recently asked what purpose is served by splitting everyone up along gender lines. Today, I will offer a different perspective.
In my own personal experience, the reason I conceive of myself as either male or female, depending on which I am at the time, is because that is the way I understand other people.
Despite my particular situation, being a creature that can live on either side of the gender line, even I still understand humanity in male/female terms. Whatever gender variations are out there, I see them measured on the man-woman spectrum.
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Sep
17
Yeah, I’m a guy. And a gal. Why can’t I be both at once?
I have tried for quite some time now to try to conceptualize my gender identity. I have rejected many paradigms, but have yet to settle on one that feels right.
In some sense, I am both male and female. But, that makes me two people, and I’m not really, am I?
Read More»Sep
15
I think there is an implied conceit among many men that they are the drivers of what matters and that females are mere adornments. I believe that my post about chauvinism in that old tv series Banacek shows the kind of thinking I am talking about.
Oh sure, men are evolving, and women too. But, I think that buried deep in the psyche of both sexes, this attitude still lurks.
One manifestation of that is the feeling that some tgirls get that somehow becoming female is a step down, or a disrespecting of their masculinity. Some actually enjoy “demeaning themselves” in this way, finding a need to punish or humiliate themselves for some reason.
Reinforcing this sense of the inferiority of the feminine gender, some women will ask why a man would ever want to become female, as if being male is easier, better, more privileged. Of course, it is understood why women want to become more like men…
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Aug
31
One of the things I kinda glossed over last time (Impressions – The Message of Our Presentation) were the different roles each of us plays.
A woman may be an executive during the day and a casual jeans and T (shirt) girl in the evening, or even a sexy model on weekends.
Someone meeting her in any one of her roles may not imagine the other roles she plays, and may be turned off or taken aback by some of the possibilities…
…of course, not likely to the extent they might be should they run across the woman they met with yesterday walking down the street today as a man.
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Aug
29
(… continued from Roles)
It occurs to me that people generally put no small amount of effort into presenting an image of themselves to the world through the way they dress about who they are and how they want to be seen and treated.
Whether it is the youngster in a t-shirt and ball-cap with his pants hanging well below his underwear or the businessman with a $2,000 suit and professionally selected shirt and tie to complement the look, each has taken a great deal of trouble to send a message about their self-image.
We all know what is likely to be the result of our presentation choices based on our understanding of social norms in society today.
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Aug
27
The other day, I wrote about feeling like an imposter… which begs the question, “What exactly is the pretence?”
Stated differently, “What is it about being a woman that I am doing that is not authentic?”
Of course, these questions lead into consideration of what being a woman is all about… a bit of a tough question.
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