Jul
03
I have run a few posts questioning my sanity and wondering whether I should be doing this tgirl thing.
In response, a friend (possibly tiring of my incessant whining 😉 ) wrote in and advised me to stop overthinking my existence and just enjoy being who I am – “one pretty, feminine girl,” in her words.
My first thought in answer to her comment was, “I wish I were as sure as you are.”
But, a more interesting thought followed on its heels, as I wrote my response to her comment.
I said then, “Believe me, if the world around me laid down a path to happiness lined with pink flowers and lace, I’d not think twice about it.”
As the words escaped my keyboard, their truth rang out.
It seems that what is not among the many uncertainties with which I am grappling, is any doubt that I would be perfectly happy to live as a woman.
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Jul
02
I am not accustomed to the political side of transgender life, so my attendance at today’s Trans March was a new thing for me.
As you can see from the photos, in the course of my participation, I happened to lend a hand to a couple of girls who were carrying a banner, and was photographed doing so.
Not a good idea for someone whose family and friends don’t know about my alter-ego. I had some concern I would end up on the front page of the newspaper and so made a point of checking the headlines and video.
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Jul
01
Being Pride Week hereabouts, I thought a post on Pride would be appropriate. The title of this post is, of course, a play on the well-known biblical phrase from Proverbs.
So, what is Pride? Well, depends who you ask.
These days, you are most apt to hear about it being a celebration of GLBT (+ an alphabet soup of other letters that have been appended thereto) rights, achievements, solidarity, community.
And, we have much to celebrate, and much awareness still to bring to the community at large; we have come far but have far to go.
But, much about the Pride parade has always made me uncomfortable.
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Jun
30
I have been chastising myself lately for being a bit too reclusive and not making enough of an effort to get out there and meet more people. So, when a guy I met online asked me to coffee the other day, I decided that I’d just say yes.
Well, coffee was great, but he didn’t show up. (Hence, “Unreliable E-Male.”)
Read More»Jun
29
Many of us t-girls struggle with doubts about whether what we are doing is natural or delusional, self-fulfilling or self-destructive… or is it just me?
The problem is one of perspective.
Read More»Jun
28
Sometimes it is nice to get outside on a beautiful day and commune with nature.
That was my inspiration today as I fled downtown after being stood up (that story another time).
So, I went for a walk on a trail,
among the birds and bees,
the leaves and trees,
the gravel and stone…
On my own,
really alone…
It put me at ease.
Jun
23
I must say that a tgirl sees some funny things in the mirror.
Oftentimes, that humor is but a manifestation of a little inner pain and confusion, but a little laughter is nice medicine.
One such incident just occurred as I changed clothes.
I spent the day with my hair tied back and in manly clothes doing the pinstripe thing, and when I got home, I just wanted to wear something more comfortable.
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Jun
20
I go through many ups and downs in trying to figure out my own personal truth, and I have chronicled some of that on this blog.
In the midst of one recent period of questioning whether the whole thing was/is a sham – thoughts like “C’mon, I’ve always been a guy, still am; why am I doing this to myself?” – I came across the touching and uplifting story of Janet Mock, the beautiful and articulate People Magazine editor who came out as trans in a wonderful interview with Marie Claire magazine.
She has written a book and posted a video of encouragement to transgender youth on youtube (which I have for you, natch!)
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Jun
12
From time to time, I am saddened by feelings of guilt over what I am putting my GF through. I have been meaning to say a word or two about it in these pages for some time, and am finally impelled to do so after having read similar sentiments on the blog of my dear friend Petra.
So guilt-ridden am I, that it seems whenever GF gets upset with me, I take it to be a sign of her patience running thin with my whole charade.
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Jun
09
The victims are different but the language of discrimination stays the same.
California is considering providing protections that would allow crossdressers to wear whatever they want to work.
One news source quoted a commentator on this issue, as follows:
Read More»“It will inherently cause customers to be uncomfortable and not want to do business… This is about employers having to deal with employees who dress in a way that employers know will cost them either in terms of customers, employer morale, or employee operational efficiency… If you have a mother taking her son to a store for back-to-school shopping and the retail clerk is a man dressed like a woman, the mother is going to take her son and go to another store.”
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