Apr
25
Sometimes, feelings hit you by surprise.
Case in point, I am here in Las Vegas, having spent the past four days as a guy with GF at a Rockabilly convention. What a fabulous event it was, demonstrating that the 60-year old spirit of 1950s rock and roll, rhythm and blues and country hillbilly music is alive and well and that the next generation will keep the faith in impressive numbers and with ample exuberance.
Everyone was dolled up impressively in vintage fashions, with a certain modern edge for the younger set, the old and beautiful cars were on display, and The Killer himself – Jerry Lee Lewis – rocked the stage in impressive form.
In this environment, GF has (correctly) ordained that it is appropriate that we go as boy and girl – and I play the part of boy, cuz she’s no good at it. Her soft voice, ample bust and very curvy hips make it pretty much impossible for her, but that’s a subject for another time.
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Apr
02
As an emerging t-girl, I go through ups and downs… sometimes wondering whether I have gone way too far down the wrong road.
The trouble is finding a pure perspective from which to analyze my true feelings and desires.
She’s Always There
For one thing, every day when I get up, I am greeted in the mirror with a hairless body and face, and long curly locks flowing from my head…
…and I have to ask myself whether I am no longer giving my male self a fair chance to predominate.
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Mar
06
(…continued from The Answer to My Prayers)
Old habits die hard.
I have talked about wanting to change the focus of my lifestyle from the safe and conservative, middle of the road to something more interesting and beautiful and sublime – painting outside the lines if you will… and that Janie’s appearance in my life helps move me in that direction.
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Mar
05
I am, at times, very confused about who or what I am, and where this is taking me and my life. One minute, I can be ecstatic about being Janie, loving my femininity and my sexuality, tingling all over at the sheer energy I get from being her… and the next minute, I am wondering what kind of freak I am, why I pretend to be a woman when I am a man, how much of a destructive distraction all this is: harming my future, undermining my ambitions, risking my reputation, messing with my sexuality and threatening my relationship.
I think that one of the main impelling forces toward Janie’s emergence was sheer boredom with my life.
In some measure, I had worked all my life to achieve this so-called boredom.
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Feb
26
I woke up this morning in a pretty bad mood, and spent some time trying to unravel it.
The night before, GF got a bit upset at me for wasting my time on Chat on the computer. As much as she tried to couch it in terms of trying to help me avoid the regret of wasting time while there were so many things I needed to get done, I sensed a certain frustration of her own.
By morning, it seems I had inferred, rightly or wrongly, that my Janie-time was undermining my proper role as my GF’s mate. What was causing me my fitful mood was guilt… mainly, guilt that in becoming Janie, and spending as much time as I can as a girl, I was depriving my sweetie of the man with whom she expected to spend the rest of her life.
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Feb
21
I read, with great skepticism, a year-old article with an astounding premise: that gender can be changed by the manipulation of one gene!
The article is here.
The idea is that gender depends, at least in part, on the competing action of genes that are shared by both sexes. That means that we all maintain the ability to change from one to the other, potentially… The therapy actually changed the reproductive organs of the mice upon which it was conducted, and without adverse effect.
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Dec
30
Take me as I am! This girl doesn’t always smile. Sometimes she can be sultry, sometimes she can be miserable… sometimes she can try to look sultry and end up looking miserable. Oh, well!
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Nov
20
I am finding that the more time I spend as Jane, the more natural it becomes to act like her… and the more effort I have to make to “act” like a boy when I’m him.
Read More»Nov
10
It is a peculiar irony that at the same time it gets to be the easiest to convincingly crossdress, many t-girls are hanging up their heels.
Making It Hard on Ourselves
Women and men look strikingly similar at a very young and very old ages, and yet, it is commonly during the time of life when it is most difficult to appear as a convincing version of the opposite sex that most tgirls are active.
I have heard from some of the sexiest girls, who vow not to persist past their “Best Before” date. These are girls of my own ilk – in the sense that they are dressing for enjoyment and not out of a sense of need or psychological distress.
Read More»Sep
25
I never know how different I appear outwardly as compared to my inner self-perception …
Yesterday, I went out for dinner with someone whom I was excited to meet and whom I’d hoped to impress, but try as I might, I couldn’t manage to feel my true girly self the whole night!
I couldn’t find the right posture, the right voice, the right mood…
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