Mar
04
The fluid nature of gender roles over time provides more proof that what it means to be a man changes depending on the era and the culture and probably the circumstances. It is common to cling to current sensibilities as if they were pronounced from on high, but recall that the Roman soldiers wore skirts into battle and the males in French aristocracy in the middle of the last millennium wore long hair, wigs, heels, etc.
Mind you, I am not sure the role differences changed as much as the expectations for clothes and appearance.
I respect everyone’s right to choose their gender role, but for myself, I confess to liking the idea of men and women who are distinctly different.
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Feb
06
It seemed to me an awfully big deal to finally see the possibility of expressing my feminine gender identity as a man rather than as a woman. (See Trying on the Yaoi Gender Mix for Size and A New Take on My Male Gender Identity for more.)
I have expressed concerns about the latter, feeling to some degree, inauthentic, or put on. And, I have expressed the opinion that as long as I stay on the male side of the coin, the degree of my femininity is merely a question of fashion and therefore not subject to the same kinds of reactions and objections as gender questions might be.
Well, I didn’t get very far along this yaoi road before reality – at least my reality – stepped squarely in my path.
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Feb
02
I think one of the most profound realizations that came to me in the course of considering the whole yaoi thing was the idea that I have been taking for granted the effect that the changes to my hair (both on my head – where the change is to more and longer – and on my body, where the change is to less and none) have achieved already.
I have been thinking so much about the effects that I might have to encounter if people I knew found out that I was a feminine man or even a part-time female, or whichever way we decide to characterize what it is that I am or do.
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Jan
24
I obviously recognize that whatever I have done or wanted to do as a woman – or, on the other hand, as a man, “I” (as in the whole of me) did or wanted to do. And, despite genuinely feeling that these were two distinct and separate parts of me, I always felt just a little fraudulent implying with my separate personas that I was somehow two separate people. I was not and am not suffering from multiple personality disorder, I have always been fully aware of both sides of myself, I knew I had but one body, one brain, one heart.
In short, regardless of how it’s framed, whether a feminine male or two personas, I must “own” all of it.
My increasing realization that Janie is me and I am Janie, and that I was never comfortable with the logical flaw in seeing myself as two people has led me to try to find a way to make it all one.
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Jan
14
The last time I spoke about gender identity, I spoke about applying the concept of a yaoi character to my own life, of perhaps being an extremely feminine male. It may seem very similar to what’s going on now, but there are important differences that make it both appealing and challenging.
In my mind, the whole concept can be described succinctly and bluntly as essentially Janie without the claim of womanhood and without the second identity (or gender identity). And, quite possibly without the heels and skirts.
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Jan
09
Yaoi, to my understanding, are cartoons involving love between young men possessed of a large dose of feminine beauty. I have been wondering lately whether such a concept has any application to me. (I realize that I have briefly explored this concept of gender before, but I think I am a bit more open to the idea than I was then.)
Thinking about the gender spectrum, what if I, or rather my gender mix, took a step back from being female, tiptoed across that spectrum just past the tipping point back to the male side? My hair is already a profound statement that I have moved along the spectrum towards femininity from my old masculine self; I could push it further by wearing a bit of makeup, or jewelry, or piercing my ears.
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Dec
12
A number of years ago, I wrote about Nicole, a friend of mine who gave up crossdressing/transitioning despite being the prettiest and most feminine t-girl I had ever met. This person decided that it was all a fraud, and he could satisfy all his needs as a beautifully feminine gay man – almost a yaoi character, if you will. (See my post Yowza Yaoi! for my take on this term, and Wikipedia for a more scholarly description.)
The reasons for his decision that the whole transgender experience for him was not authentic had to do with the way his treatment changed from one moment to the next at the hands of the same people, based solely on his gender presentation. (A wig coming off would be a relationship-changing moment, for example.) It seems their like or dislike, attraction or revulsion for him was based not on his genuine soul and personality but on the way he dressed and groomed himself and the efforts he made to transform his gender or not.
I am sure his own self-perception was similarly affected – and I say this out of personal experience.
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Mar
02
After seeing that episode of Bones, I sat down to write my post about it. In the process of doing so, I looked up references to androgyny in Asian culture and found some fascinating things.
Pretty men in Japan seem to be well-liked by young females, and are popular television personalities and performers as they appeal across a broad spectrum of that society. They are also popular in manga comics as the prototypical male, especially those targeted at girls.
Here’s a telling quote about the history and endurance of this type of character, from the wikipedia entry on the subject (link is below):
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28
Following on from the last post, I figure that as an exercise in personal evolution and introspection, I could try to give being a “pretty man” a try and see how it feels.
In some sense, it occupies a middle ground between regular guy and trans woman, so maybe I can find a way to get my mind around the concept.
As a start, I went out this past weekend to a party with friends, and then out for a late bite dressed as you see in the photo. (I did not dare put on makeup.)
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Sep
24
I was introduced to the term “Yaoi” by a friend I met at Southern Comfort in Atlanta. I may have spoken of her before. She was one of the most beautiful t-girls I have ever met, feminine both in appearance as well as manner.
Not long after our encounter, she gave it all up – being a girl I mean – in favor of being a yaoi-type – a beautiful feminine man who liked sleeping with men – saying that there was no need to become female to do and be all the things he wanted to do/be; he could do them just fine as a man.
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