I was introduced to the term “Yaoi” by a friend I met at Southern Comfort in Atlanta.  I may have spoken of her before.  She was one of the most beautiful t-girls I have ever met, feminine both in appearance as well as manner.

Not long after our encounter, she gave it all up – being a girl I mean – in favor of being a yaoi-type – a beautiful feminine man who liked sleeping with men – saying that there was no need to become female to do and be all the things he wanted to do/be; he could do them just fine as a man.

In past posts I have expressed a distaste for mixing genders, for effeminate men.  But, I have always provided that there was a rare exception – the beautiful man.  This seeming contradiction has troubled me, so I set about thinking on it.

What I discovered is that the beautiful man registers in my mind as female, while the effeminate man clocks in as an unappealing version of a male.

So we are clear, here are some examples:

Above left is Gil Ofarim and right, Bill Kaulitz of Tokio Hotel.  These are beautiful men.  By contrast, an effeminate man effects feminine mannerisms (sometimes in an exaggerated way) while being unmistakably male. Though a bit of a caricature, the character of Jack MacFarland (played by Sean Hayes) on the old sitcom Will and Grace comes to mind.

Being as “beautiful men” register as female with me, I began to wonder exactly what was the difference between them and tgirls such as myself?

(continued next time…)