apology and thanks

Apology

Recently, I undertook the task of going through my blog posts to get a sense of my history. It has been a bit of a humbling experience – so much so that I think I owe my loyal and persistent commenters an apology.

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janie golfing happier

Golf + Bubble Baths – Why I’m Happier as a Woman

I always knew that I was happier as a woman, but I’m only just starting to realize why.

I played golf today with a couple of my old male friends. I shanked my share and hit some plain stupid shots, but y’know what? It didn’t affect my mood one iota. Not to put too fine a point on it, but that’s not exactly the way it was in my prior life. Today, all I cared about was being outside on a beautiful day playing a fun game with friends. And, I was happy.

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What's My Reality - Man or Woman

Reality is in the Eye of the Beholder

I am starting to question my grip on reality. Or, perhaps my friends’.

Last week I played golf for the first time openly as a woman. It was also the first one-on-one time I have had with this golf-buddy of mine since I told him I was trans. Of course, old habits die hard, especially when there is no occasion to practice new things, and he couldn’t help saying things like, “You’re up, big g–! Oops! Sorry!” He freely admitted that he still sees me as a guy, notwithstanding my adorable light-mauve golf dress and makeup. He’s known me as a guy for decades, and it is hard for him to see me any other way.

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Playing Hockey is the Weirdest Thing

janie the hockey playerI used to have a t-shirt that said, “Hockey is Life, the rest is just details.” Well, I was much younger back then… The details are everything now; and hockey has been a casualty until now.

A lot has happened in my life since I have written anything personal here. That simply playing hockey with my friends is such a big deal is but a hint. I used to play all the time, but as my feminine life took over, anything that required me to assume a male role kinda fell by the wayside. Now, as you can see by the photos, hockey no longer requires me to be a guy. And, reading between the lines, the other message is that all my old guy friends know that I am transgender and have been wonderful in accepting me and keeping me involved in our group.

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Erasing Trans

ABC7 News came out with a story entitled Mom Issues Warning After $5 Online Purchase Kills Son. It describes the dangers of the pong pong seed, the mother’s anguish over the self-inflicted death of her son and her determination to raise awareness about this poison from the so-called Suicide tree.

The article quotes the woman as saying that her child was transgender and struggling with the desire to live life as a woman, recently changing his name to Lucia, and that she wasn’t aware of any depression or suicidal thoughts, though he was bullied for many years in school. 

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