Jul
28
“Normal” is not a welcome word in transgender circles. We are, irrefutably, relatively rare in number, and our take on gender and sexuality is probably not shared by the vast majority of folks.
While “normal” can be a statistical term, it can also be a value judgment. The opposite of “normal” in that latter sense is something like “different.”
The jump from “different” to “sick because your different” is one that many people make without a moment’s thought.
But, it behooves us to insist that people ask themselves, “Why?”
Ok, I am different than most people. Why do you care? Why do you think it is wrong? Why do you think it is sick? Think about it. And then again answer the key question: why do you care?
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Jul
13
Imagine a couple living in Manhattan, with a subscription to the opera, an enjoyment of the restaurants and nightlife and shopping, and the buzz of the city… when the husband, 20 years into this lifestyle, taps his wife on the shoulder and says he has decided to become a farmer and they need to move to the countryside.
“No, New York is where I’d rather stay. I get allergic smelling hay. I just adore a penthouse view; darling I love you, but give me Park Avenue.”
How many women would go along? How many would trade in “the stores” and “Times Square” for “chores” and “fresh air?”
She would have to deal with changing her lifestyle, finding new friends and losing many old ones; in many respects she would feel like the rug was being pulled out from under her and her expectations of how they were going to live their lives. And, of course, the question of, “How long have you been thinking about this without telling me?” would come up, along with a sense of betrayal. If the man is unwilling to compromise his choice, there is every chance that marriage will fall apart.
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Jun
12
From time to time, I am saddened by feelings of guilt over what I am putting my GF through. I have been meaning to say a word or two about it in these pages for some time, and am finally impelled to do so after having read similar sentiments on the blog of my dear friend Petra.
So guilt-ridden am I, that it seems whenever GF gets upset with me, I take it to be a sign of her patience running thin with my whole charade.
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Feb
28
I continue to be surprised by some of the insights I have gained in my journey between the genders. Sometimes, I feel like a double-agent, infiltrating the feminine ranks in the dating game and bringing back valuable insights for the male side.
In her comments on one of my blog posts about a month ago, Trish reminded me about one such insight, and I have been meaning to write about it ever since, only getting to it now. (Sorry.)
Trish’s very frank comments talk about how she and the men she dates relate to each other, especially sexually.
What caught my eye was her comment about never having an orgasm yet totally enjoying herself.
…don’t know about “never” but…
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Feb
26
I woke up this morning in a pretty bad mood, and spent some time trying to unravel it.
The night before, GF got a bit upset at me for wasting my time on Chat on the computer. As much as she tried to couch it in terms of trying to help me avoid the regret of wasting time while there were so many things I needed to get done, I sensed a certain frustration of her own.
By morning, it seems I had inferred, rightly or wrongly, that my Janie-time was undermining my proper role as my GF’s mate. What was causing me my fitful mood was guilt… mainly, guilt that in becoming Janie, and spending as much time as I can as a girl, I was depriving my sweetie of the man with whom she expected to spend the rest of her life.
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Aug
31
Y’know, I have always been one to want to keep my male and female sides separate. There is much to discuss on the merits or demerits of mixing genders – feminine masculinity and masculine femininity – but I’ll leave those for another time.
Right now, I am talking about my personal efforts to be a real guy when I’m a guy, and a real gal when I’m Jane. This requires, for me, a change not only of clothing but mindset, and so, I prefer to be Janie in as large blocks of time as life will permit, and my male self likewise in big chunks of time.
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Aug
18
A recent encounter with a man reminded me of my own past difficulties – in another life – dating women. Now that I get to see things from the other side – her side – I really have to sympathize with both players in the dating dance.
Long ago, I was, as he and so many others are, the kind of man that could fall hard and fast for the right woman. As a woman, I am discovering just how unsettling that must have been for her!
The dating experience is just so different from the man’s and woman’s points of view.
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Aug
06
“I’m beginning to wonder whether all of the things I love about you are Janie!”
That’s what my girlfriend said to me today. I don’t know whether to be insulted on behalf of the guy who’s been in this relationship for a very long time, or happy that she loves my girl side.
There was a time when she adamantly exclaimed her love for my arrogance, my strength and the hair on my face. But it seems she has been secretly having an affair with a much sweeter, smoother character who speaks in quieter tones, understands her feelings, helps her shop and likes to cuddle. How’s a guy supposed to compete with that?
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Jul
23
A fellow blogger recently asked her audience for ideas on how to tell her fiancée about her crossdressing. The sense I got from the post was that she was looking forward to her fiancée’s absence – going away to school – because it would allow more dressing opportunities. They have been together for years and this “hobby” as she calls it was still a secret between them.
As I mentioned in my comment on her blog, my answer was longer than her post and would be better suited to being a blog post of my own. So here I am. And this is the advice I would give her:
Read More»Mar
22
Lunch today was spent with a new friend, such a nice girl whose story is similar to many I have heard: Guy meets girl. Guy gets girl. Guy becomes girl. Guy is alone.
The crossdressers I have met, by and large, want just a little tolerance from their wives. Anything more is gravy.
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