Oct
20
It actually took me by surprise, my reaction to this clerk referring to me and my GF as “ladies.”
We started the day going out for coffee and pedicures, followed by a stop on our way home at Home Depot. We needed to get some answers about some work that needed to be done at our home, what was involved, whether we could do it ourselves or have to hire someone, what it all would cost, etc., etc.
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Oct
15
Lovely night out, I had.
I met a guy who treated me wonderfully, respectfully, romantically. Ok, so he wasn’t an Adonis, but I found that it mattered less and less as the evening wore on.
We talked and flirted for quite a while. We even talked about food and drink and restaurants, and bandied about the idea of him taking me out for dinner in the future.
Eventually, he leaned in and kissed me. Nice.
Sadly, it was all downhill from there.
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Oct
10
Ah, the mysteries of hair color… They say that blondes have more fun. Heck they say I’m blonde… What do they know?
I’m a redhead – the rarest of the basic hair colors. We natural redheads constitute only 1-2% of humanity. Of redheads, Johnathan Swift wrote,
“It is observed that the red-haired of both sexes are more libidinous and mischievous than the rest, whom yet they much exceed in strength and activity.”
Explains a lot… 😉
(For those who want to read more about redheads, try here.)
Anyhoo…
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Oct
06
When I first started out as Janie, I heard that many people considered t-girls misogynistic. I couldn’t believe my ears, feeling that imitation is the highest form of flattery.
But, I do understand now.
There is a cohort of “t-girls” who disrespect themselves and in so doing disrespect women.
They assume the role of womanhood mainly for the purpose of co-opting feminine values in the service of their own masculine desires.
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Oct
03
I am pretty hard on myself. But sometimes, the judgments I pass on myself have implications for my understanding of being a tgirl generally.
I sometimes see masculinity in myself in place of my femininity, and I recoil. I know I can fix it through an adjustment of clothing, makeup, hairstyle or attitude, and everything will be ok.
But, what if I couldn’t?
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Oct
01
I am still having trouble conceptualizing my feelings about gender in certain respects.
We are all, to some extent, a blend of the masculine and the feminine, and transfolk more emphatically so.
But I find certain manifestations of this hard to understand, even as I accept the person’s right to be the way they are.
I know I have mentioned this before but I think I have a bit of a better handle on it now: the way I perceive a photo of a man with a beard, wearing a dress. I am sorry, but I find it to be off-putting. This is just an honest reaction. Obviously his concept of what’s attractive and mine are quite different. Nothing wrong with that.
But, it sets me to wondering why I find his choices so unattractive…
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Sep
29
I have spoken in the past about the feelings of discord that come from seeing my masculinity contaminate the feminine image I seek to project.
I have offered thoughts on the concept of shame and implied gender chauvinism (as in, “Why would you do that to a perfectly good guy?”).
But, I am coming to a different realization these days…
I don’t think it has anything to do with demeaning the male inside me, delusion or questions about the validity of my femininity.
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26
At least in terms of my physical sex, I know I am not female. No one has to tell me that. I am clearly – and will forever be – male. (There are those who will argue that no matter the hormones or surgery, a person cannot change their sex – but that is a discussion for another day, and an issue of concern more for transsexuals than people like me.)
Gender is different than sex. Sex refers to biological differences. i.e., chromosomes, hormonal profiles, internal and external sex organs. Gender describes the characteristics that a society or culture delineates as masculine or feminine. (This description comes from Monash University in Australia, but the concept is the same on a hundred other sites.)
My gender is often feminine. I am happy to be treated as a woman, and behave in line with society’s expectations on women, and I am a person fortunate enough to have the natural gifts to enable me to do so.
Is my spirit female? I don’t know. Is there even such a thing? Ditto.
Am I pretending or acting? Not really – I mean to the extent I am not used to being feminine and during the time it takes me to learn, some things are put on. But what is not put on or fake are my feelings and the desire to be feminine and to be treated as female.
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Sep
24
An Oklahoma judge has twice now refused to grant a name change to a transsexual on the basis that it would be assisting “that which is fraudulent.”
In his esteemed opinion, SRS doesn’t change DNA and therefore attempting to appear as a woman while still a man is fraudulent.
In case that doesn’t convince you, he quoted the bible for the authority that God intended men to stay men and women to stay women.
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Sep
22
I never cease to wonder why people care what’s in your pants…
I mean, if I am out there as a woman, why would anyone make an issue out of my physical gender?
I think there is a basic shift that takes place for many people depending on whether they are dealing with a man or a woman.
There are expectations and prejudgments that go along with each, just as there are with older or younger, well-groomed or sloppy and so on.
But none is so basic as gender.
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