Transgender Life

Goodbye Fantasia for Another Year

Our Fantasia experience was winding down, and it was time to say goodbye to those who weren’t going back to the hospitality suite, but the club started playing some 1980s disco to close out the night, tunes like Celebration, You Make Me Feel Mighty Real, Hot Stuff, etc. and GF and others wanted to dance to this stuff, so despite my poor aching feet, how could I say no?

The hospitality suite was only across the street,but by the time I managed to pry the door open, my feet were killing me again, and I staggered through the door with a staccato, “Owww… oww… ow!” to snickers of laughter. (Where’s the sympathy, empathy, support and understanding? Huh?)

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He’s a Lying, Cheating Homo

Continuing my story from last night, our lesbian friend did manage to propose to her belle, and near as I could tell, the answer was yes. I say this because champagne was offered around and I saw them hugging. But she still didn’t seem satisfied for some reason…

She also was still perplexed by my existence and so was her fiancée. “You’re straight, right?” asked the lesbian fiancée.

“Well,” I said, “that depends on what you mean by being straight.”

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What a Difference a Year Makes

I arrived in Provincetown last night, tired and fighting a cold.

Tonight, I’m at Bayside Betsy’s bar listening to cheesy Olivia Newton-John tunes like “If you love me let me know, if you don’t then let me go…” and Neil Diamond, and drinking a very delicious Ginger Collins – a Tom Collins with a kick of ginger – very good.

I expect that tomorrow, I will go over to the Fantasia Fair registration office and say hello to those I know and tell them that I’d like to maybe have lunch with them a couple of times and attend a few of their shows, but that I won’t be registering for the conference or attending any of the galas or seminars.

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Going to the Hair Salon

Oh, it’s so exciting!

Today, I went into a hair salon with pictures of women’s hairstyles, and asked for a feminine cut! No hedging, no hemming no hawing.

The stylist looked a bit puzzled, but with my soft, reddish curls hanging all around my face in a clearly feminine way, albeit in desperate need of some styling, he went with it.

We discussed what was possible and what was recommended, and it wasn’t until after he had me in the chair, hair washed, that he asked me why I would want a feminine hairdo.

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Infiltrating the Mainstream

I turned on the television this morning to a program called “TV Made Me Do It” and they were telling the story of a guy who dresses like a woman in order to add flamboyance to his life, and who wanted to try to sell a house dressed in a wild dress and 6-inch platform heels.

Flipping the channel, I came to a commercial for Family Guy, where he is dressed like a female prostitute…

Then, a commercial for popcorn, with a little girl sitting in her bedroom pretending to have a tea-party when her father and brother come in wanting to have some popcorn, and agree to put on a tutu and silly hat…

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Outed at the Airport

You think you have prepared for all eventualities, and then it happens…

I have done my best during the time I have been crossdressing to separate my real identity from Janie’s.

But, apparently, all it takes is some stupid airline gate agent who has nothing better to do at 5 o’clock in the morning than to announce people’s names and ask them to come to the desk to verify the information they have entered when checking in online.

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Social Butterfly

Friday at Southern Comfort was a crowded scene. I’d been there a few days and by then, the sight of a massive group of t-girls seems more normal than not…

I spent a while at Starbucks, finding out how far behind in my emails I had fallen and trying to write up some of my experiences.

I was hoping to get some exercise and some shopping in, but no dice. To be honest, I just didn’t get up any desire to shop. Maybe it was sensory overload, I don’t know, but the urge just wasn’t there.

On some level, I am so overwhelmed that I don’t know what I feel. I haven’t been able to catch my breath. There are about 800 attendees at Southern Comfort, and meeting everyone is a large part of the event.

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All Mixed Up

Y’know, I have always been one to want to keep my male and female sides separate. There is much to discuss on the merits or demerits of mixing genders – feminine masculinity and masculine femininity – but I’ll leave those for another time.

Right now, I am talking about my personal efforts to be a real guy when I’m a guy, and a real gal when I’m Jane. This requires, for me, a change not only of clothing but mindset, and so, I prefer to be Janie in as large blocks of time as life will permit, and my male self likewise in big chunks of time.

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A Girl’s Good Name

I have been deliberating lately about posting risqué photos of myself online. Why? Why not?

It is funny that some t-girls use the fact that they look unlike their true selves and have a made-up name as license to behave in a way that they truly might be ashamed of. Of course it has occurred to me that I could publish even pornographic pictures of myself and it would not affect my daily life or reputation.

But it would affect Janie’s.

And Janie is me.

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Over- Anxious

A recent encounter with a man reminded me of my own past difficulties – in another life – dating women. Now that I get to see things from the other side – her side – I really have to sympathize with both players in the dating dance.

Long ago, I was, as he and so many others are, the kind of man that could fall hard and fast for the right woman. As a woman, I am discovering just how unsettling that must have been for her!

The dating experience is just so different from the man’s and woman’s points of view.

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