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Our Fantasia experience was winding down, and it was time to say goodbye to those who weren’t going back to the hospitality suite, but the club started playing some 1980s disco to close out the night, tunes like Celebration, You Make Me Feel Mighty Real, Hot Stuff, etc. and GF and others wanted to dance to this stuff, so despite my poor aching feet, how could I say no?
The hospitality suite was only across the street,but by the time I managed to pry the door open, my feet were killing me again, and I staggered through the door with a staccato, “Owww… oww… ow!” to snickers of laughter. (Where’s the sympathy, empathy, support and understanding? Huh?)
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Oh, it’s so exciting!
Today, I went into a hair salon with pictures of women’s hairstyles, and asked for a feminine cut! No hedging, no hemming no hawing.
The stylist looked a bit puzzled, but with my soft, reddish curls hanging all around my face in a clearly feminine way, albeit in desperate need of some styling, he went with it.
We discussed what was possible and what was recommended, and it wasn’t until after he had me in the chair, hair washed, that he asked me why I would want a feminine hairdo.
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I turned on the television this morning to a program called “TV Made Me Do It” and they were telling the story of a guy who dresses like a woman in order to add flamboyance to his life, and who wanted to try to sell a house dressed in a wild dress and 6-inch platform heels.
Flipping the channel, I came to a commercial for Family Guy, where he is dressed like a female prostitute…
Then, a commercial for popcorn, with a little girl sitting in her bedroom pretending to have a tea-party when her father and brother come in wanting to have some popcorn, and agree to put on a tutu and silly hat…
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You think you have prepared for all eventualities, and then it happens…
I have done my best during the time I have been crossdressing to separate my real identity from Janie’s.
But, apparently, all it takes is some stupid airline gate agent who has nothing better to do at 5 o’clock in the morning than to announce people’s names and ask them to come to the desk to verify the information they have entered when checking in online.
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Y’know, I have always been one to want to keep my male and female sides separate. There is much to discuss on the merits or demerits of mixing genders – feminine masculinity and masculine femininity – but I’ll leave those for another time.
Right now, I am talking about my personal efforts to be a real guy when I’m a guy, and a real gal when I’m Jane. This requires, for me, a change not only of clothing but mindset, and so, I prefer to be Janie in as large blocks of time as life will permit, and my male self likewise in big chunks of time.
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A recent encounter with a man reminded me of my own past difficulties – in another life – dating women. Now that I get to see things from the other side – her side – I really have to sympathize with both players in the dating dance.
Long ago, I was, as he and so many others are, the kind of man that could fall hard and fast for the right woman. As a woman, I am discovering just how unsettling that must have been for her!
The dating experience is just so different from the man’s and woman’s points of view.
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