Oct
15
Lovely night out, I had.
I met a guy who treated me wonderfully, respectfully, romantically. Ok, so he wasn’t an Adonis, but I found that it mattered less and less as the evening wore on.
We talked and flirted for quite a while. We even talked about food and drink and restaurants, and bandied about the idea of him taking me out for dinner in the future.
Eventually, he leaned in and kissed me. Nice.
Sadly, it was all downhill from there.
Read More»Aug
15
Today is one of those funny days when I don’t really know what I am.
I got up this morning knowing that I can be as I wish, then got dressed in a white pair of pants that are technically male clothes, but not categorically so.
I thought about what to put on top for a minute, then settled on my favorite green top with white stripes – a nice complement to the pants, and as feminine a top as the pants were masculine – in other words, debatably so.
Androgynous running shoes completed the androgynous outfit.
I hung around the house for a while, eating breakfast and answering emails and such, then had to go out.
I decided to accessorize my look with a necklace and two rings, and in a last minute decision, put on a touch of mascara and subtle lipstick.
The clothes are, as I have said umpteen times before, merely a reflection of my mood, not the other way around.
Read More»Jan
20
I have often wondered whether I am being unduly generous with myself in allowing that I might be two spirits in one body.
But then, I have an experience that reinforces the truth of that assertion.
I was out and about yesterday, doing my thing in a pretty patterned skirt, pink tights and a white top – and yet I felt every bit a man. It was a bizarre feeling of being trapped inside these feminine clothes, and having to force every girly action. I was totally pretending.
I was feeling strong and somewhat aggressive and practical; not the slightest bit soft.
I remember saying to myself, “These stupid shoes – how am I supposed to get anywhere in these!?” And, “Why am I doing this?”
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Aug
31
Getting dressed has always been a pretty consistent process in my life.
Depending on the affair, choose the outfit, pick out a pair of shoes that match in both style and color, and off you go.
Well, not today.
I decided, based on a whim, that I wanted to wear a certain pair of shoes: my wedgie beige sandals with flowers on top.
It was my mood.
I wanted shoes with whimsy, and I wanted to show off my new pedicure.
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Jun
23
I must say that a tgirl sees some funny things in the mirror.
Oftentimes, that humor is but a manifestation of a little inner pain and confusion, but a little laughter is nice medicine.
One such incident just occurred as I changed clothes.
I spent the day with my hair tied back and in manly clothes doing the pinstripe thing, and when I got home, I just wanted to wear something more comfortable.
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Feb
26
I woke up this morning in a pretty bad mood, and spent some time trying to unravel it.
The night before, GF got a bit upset at me for wasting my time on Chat on the computer. As much as she tried to couch it in terms of trying to help me avoid the regret of wasting time while there were so many things I needed to get done, I sensed a certain frustration of her own.
By morning, it seems I had inferred, rightly or wrongly, that my Janie-time was undermining my proper role as my GF’s mate. What was causing me my fitful mood was guilt… mainly, guilt that in becoming Janie, and spending as much time as I can as a girl, I was depriving my sweetie of the man with whom she expected to spend the rest of her life.
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