Feb
25
In response to my previous post asserting that, for me, living a female life is a choice, one commentator expressed an interesting challenge to that thinking, and one that I feel deserves a post of its own in response:
I wonder if you were required to put Janie away how long it would be before her needs started to show up in ways that you might not expect or find comfortable. I’ve heard the same story from a lot of us that when their female sides were pushed out of sight she pushed back. Nothing is worse than a “T” girl scorned for she will become a real bitch until she is once again free. The free girl is pleasant and relaxed while the closeted one is anything but.
Into a not so scientific experiment? Why don’t you put Janie away and see how long it takes for the choice to become a need?
I don’t have to “put Janie away” for even a minute to realize that I would be pretty miserable without her. All I have to do is think about doing so and I start to get agitated.
That settles nothing, however.
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Feb
20
Despite being a mix of genders – at least when I am Janie – I try to come off as one or the other. And, I do so with good reason.
We live in society – y’know, among other people. 99% (a rough, but undoubtedly fair approximation) understand gender in the binary sense – and to a large extent, so do I.
Presenting oneself outside this presumption will surely turn heads, and likely noses too. If you have a renegade complex, maybe that suits you; it doesn’t me.
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Feb
16
Most people agree that there is male and there is female, and with the exception of a precious few folks on this planet, everyone is either one gender or the other.
Then came Andrej Pejic, called by New York Magazine “The Prettiest Boy in the World. (http://nymag.com/fashion/11/fall/andrej-pejic/ )” His androgyny is well-known, being that he models high fashion for both genders, but what’s more interesting is that he says that his gender is entirely a matter of perception and, that professionally, he has left his gender open to artistic interpretation.
“It’s not like, ‘Okay, today I want to look like a man, or today I want to look like a woman,’ ” he says. “I want to look like me. It just so happens that some of the things I like are feminine.”
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Jan
05
The original post started as follows: “So, I’ve been told that to describe a trans person as “being born in the wrong body” is simplistic and offensive.”
When I originally happened upon this online discussion, I didn’t think it would amount to anything other than some very sensitive people having their say.
The first few responses were predictable: y’know, stuff like “everyone has their own point of view…,” “ask the offended person for their personal reason…,” blah, blah, blah…
So, I dutifully responded: “It may be simplistic, but simple ways of describing things are usually very effective. Offensive? – well some people get offended by anything. If I had to guess, I would say that if you do the math, telling someone they have a man’s body makes them a man, so someone who feels themself a woman could be put off. Perhaps they would prefer “a woman who is uncomfortable with the incompatible sexual characteristics of her body.”
A Female’s Body is a Female Body
The next responder put it much better and more succinctly:
“Because the person is a woman, thus, it is a woman’s body. That it does not conform to society’s preconceptions of “female” is irrelevant.”
…and we were on our way…
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Dec
19
Selfish f&%king people!
I may be a bit late to this story (as it was dated November 3) but that’s the only way I know how to react to an ABC News report about Evergreen College in Olympia, Washington, allowing a 46-year old pre- or non-op MTF transgender student to use the women’s locker room that is shared with Capital High School Swim Club and a children’s swim academy.
I am steaming!!
The Incident
“‘[A mother] reported her daughter was upset because she observed a person at the women’s locker room naked and displaying male genitalia,’ said a police report filed in September by a mother on behalf of her 17-year-old daughter… According to parents… the student has exposed her male genitalia, in one instance in the sauna…”
The school says it is following the law regarding non-discrimination based on gender-identity, which requires them to accommodate this student.
My problem is with the student. WTF MTF?! What is the matter with you?
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Dec
01
The other day, I saw a crime show on television called “Perception.” The basic premise of the particular episode in question involved a doctor who was “curing” men of their gay-ness by giving them a pleasure-inducing drug and having them have sex with women while feeling that pleasure. The idea was to create a permanent association between hetero sex and pleasure.
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Nov
20
Gender is the simplest thing in the world – until you (or others in your life) start questioning it. Then, there is no end of questioning, no end of wondering, of guilt, of fear, of discrimination.
Sometimes, we make the simple complicated. And sometimes, someone can find the words to cut through all the garbage and make what seems so very complicated quite simple. It all looks effortless, but we know better 😉
I commend you to this video. Watch it and share it. Simple wisdom is such a rare thing.
Oct
06
When I first started out as Janie, I heard that many people considered t-girls misogynistic. I couldn’t believe my ears, feeling that imitation is the highest form of flattery.
But, I do understand now.
There is a cohort of “t-girls” who disrespect themselves and in so doing disrespect women.
They assume the role of womanhood mainly for the purpose of co-opting feminine values in the service of their own masculine desires.
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Oct
03
I am pretty hard on myself. But sometimes, the judgments I pass on myself have implications for my understanding of being a tgirl generally.
I sometimes see masculinity in myself in place of my femininity, and I recoil. I know I can fix it through an adjustment of clothing, makeup, hairstyle or attitude, and everything will be ok.
But, what if I couldn’t?
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Oct
01
I am still having trouble conceptualizing my feelings about gender in certain respects.
We are all, to some extent, a blend of the masculine and the feminine, and transfolk more emphatically so.
But I find certain manifestations of this hard to understand, even as I accept the person’s right to be the way they are.
I know I have mentioned this before but I think I have a bit of a better handle on it now: the way I perceive a photo of a man with a beard, wearing a dress. I am sorry, but I find it to be off-putting. This is just an honest reaction. Obviously his concept of what’s attractive and mine are quite different. Nothing wrong with that.
But, it sets me to wondering why I find his choices so unattractive…
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