Jun
23
I always knew that I was happier as a woman, but I’m only just starting to realize why.
I played golf today with a couple of my old male friends. I shanked my share and hit some plain stupid shots, but y’know what? It didn’t affect my mood one iota. Not to put too fine a point on it, but that’s not exactly the way it was in my prior life. Today, all I cared about was being outside on a beautiful day playing a fun game with friends. And, I was happy.
Read More»
Feb
01
I just thought I’d direct your attention to an interesting article from the BBC entitled “Why Did Men Stop Wearing High Heels?”
For the uninitiated, it seems that men used to have long hair, wear flowing, frilly clothes, and yes, high heels. At times, this was done for functional reasons; other times, it was to signify wealth and class.
Equally interesting is that high heels were out of fashion for a time for both genders.
It was not only designers but changing gender and class roles and social mores that influenced who wore the pants… or stilettos… in the family.
Read More»
Jan
14
The last time I spoke about gender identity, I spoke about applying the concept of a yaoi character to my own life, of perhaps being an extremely feminine male. It may seem very similar to what’s going on now, but there are important differences that make it both appealing and challenging.
In my mind, the whole concept can be described succinctly and bluntly as essentially Janie without the claim of womanhood and without the second identity (or gender identity). And, quite possibly without the heels and skirts.
Read More»
Jan
09
Yaoi, to my understanding, are cartoons involving love between young men possessed of a large dose of feminine beauty. I have been wondering lately whether such a concept has any application to me. (I realize that I have briefly explored this concept of gender before, but I think I am a bit more open to the idea than I was then.)
Thinking about the gender spectrum, what if I, or rather my gender mix, took a step back from being female, tiptoed across that spectrum just past the tipping point back to the male side? My hair is already a profound statement that I have moved along the spectrum towards femininity from my old masculine self; I could push it further by wearing a bit of makeup, or jewelry, or piercing my ears.
Read More»Sep
26
At least in terms of my physical sex, I know I am not female. No one has to tell me that. I am clearly – and will forever be – male. (There are those who will argue that no matter the hormones or surgery, a person cannot change their sex – but that is a discussion for another day, and an issue of concern more for transsexuals than people like me.)
Gender is different than sex. Sex refers to biological differences. i.e., chromosomes, hormonal profiles, internal and external sex organs. Gender describes the characteristics that a society or culture delineates as masculine or feminine. (This description comes from Monash University in Australia, but the concept is the same on a hundred other sites.)
My gender is often feminine. I am happy to be treated as a woman, and behave in line with society’s expectations on women, and I am a person fortunate enough to have the natural gifts to enable me to do so.
Is my spirit female? I don’t know. Is there even such a thing? Ditto.
Am I pretending or acting? Not really – I mean to the extent I am not used to being feminine and during the time it takes me to learn, some things are put on. But what is not put on or fake are my feelings and the desire to be feminine and to be treated as female.
Read More»
Mar
03
I took the time to read the New Yorker article referenced by the Washington Post in my last post.
It is well worth reading.
With all due respect to the esteemed Washington Post, Pejic doesn’t really seem to identify as male any more than he does female. His focus is, much like was discussed in my missive on Psychology Today, that there is no benefit to identify as one or the other.
He says he never did “drag”; he just dressed pretty, in the same way girls do. Semantics, perhaps, but evidence of a certain mindset.
He does not divide the world into girls and boys, and roles for each, orientations and attractions. He just takes it as it comes, with no labels.
Read More»
Feb
23
For the first time in a long time I found myself thrilled to spend a day as a guy.
I’d almost forgotten how wonderful that can be.
So much so, that when I was doing some writing a month or so ago, I had more than a little difficulty finding any reason that truly resonated inside as to why a person would want to be a guy.
But manhood can be quite a rush. A powerful feeling and a feeling of power. A feeling of strength and control and competence in a way that’s completely different from the feminine versions of those things. (This is an astounding contrast with the feelings I expressed in this post from last summer.)
If I had to find a metaphor, it would be, um… shoes. Masculine shoes and feminine shoes. Oxfords and high heels.
Read More»Sep
28
Following on from the last post, I figure that as an exercise in personal evolution and introspection, I could try to give being a “pretty man” a try and see how it feels.
In some sense, it occupies a middle ground between regular guy and trans woman, so maybe I can find a way to get my mind around the concept.
As a start, I went out this past weekend to a party with friends, and then out for a late bite dressed as you see in the photo. (I did not dare put on makeup.)
Read More»
Sep
24
I was introduced to the term “Yaoi” by a friend I met at Southern Comfort in Atlanta. I may have spoken of her before. She was one of the most beautiful t-girls I have ever met, feminine both in appearance as well as manner.
Not long after our encounter, she gave it all up – being a girl I mean – in favor of being a yaoi-type – a beautiful feminine man who liked sleeping with men – saying that there was no need to become female to do and be all the things he wanted to do/be; he could do them just fine as a man.
Read More»
Apr
12
Tgirls go through a lot to make themselves look feminine, but I have discovered one little trick that takes only a few seconds, is completely painless, costs nothing and makes an appreciable difference.
Fortunes have been made on stupider ideas (bagel slicer anyone?) but I’m giving this one away!
Read More»
Recent Comments