Feb
18
(continued from Beyond Gender)
What we are talking about is the post-gender concept, the “Pejic Ideal,” so to speak: the relatively rare male that can, without body modification or assumption of womanhood, carry off a completely feminine look.
The guy who basically says, “I like feminine things, and if you mistake me for a woman, that’s on you not me.”
The guy who says, “I happen to enjoy the trappings of both genders and I dress in things I like and behave the way I feel. I don’t feel the need to be male or female in order to understand myself. I am just me. I realize that most others will need to put me in one box or the other, but if they do, they will find out things about me that just don’t fit their model. I can play along with people’s need to be able to understand me, but only now and then.”
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Feb
12
The recent implosion of my yaoi gender identity project (as described here) deserves just a little more attention.
My attempt at an androgynous presentation was shot down in no uncertain terms by a family member – which was somewhat shocking considering the contrast to the reactions, or rather lack of reaction, from close friends.
But there was an important distinction.
The family member in question KNOWS about Janie. And my androgynous appearance was in circumstances where we had agreed Janie would not appear.
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Feb
02
I think one of the most profound realizations that came to me in the course of considering the whole yaoi thing was the idea that I have been taking for granted the effect that the changes to my hair (both on my head – where the change is to more and longer – and on my body, where the change is to less and none) have achieved already.
I have been thinking so much about the effects that I might have to encounter if people I knew found out that I was a feminine man or even a part-time female, or whichever way we decide to characterize what it is that I am or do.
Read More»Aug
15
Today is one of those funny days when I don’t really know what I am.
I got up this morning knowing that I can be as I wish, then got dressed in a white pair of pants that are technically male clothes, but not categorically so.
I thought about what to put on top for a minute, then settled on my favorite green top with white stripes – a nice complement to the pants, and as feminine a top as the pants were masculine – in other words, debatably so.
Androgynous running shoes completed the androgynous outfit.
I hung around the house for a while, eating breakfast and answering emails and such, then had to go out.
I decided to accessorize my look with a necklace and two rings, and in a last minute decision, put on a touch of mascara and subtle lipstick.
The clothes are, as I have said umpteen times before, merely a reflection of my mood, not the other way around.
Read More»Jul
24
It has been a trying couple of weeks, with a ton of family obligations that necessitated too much guy time and very little Janie-ness.
It is always surprising what strange things leave their mark in my perceptions…
What hit me was that, yes, I actually do have some nice male clothes. Who knew?
In the past couple of years, I have rarely had need of more than two pairs of pants and a few tops, since I wear male clothes quite sparingly, and so I had just been pretty much wearing out my few faves over time.
But with daily use, I had to delve further into his wardrobe. And, guess what? I have some nice stuff, and some of it is even bohemian enough to pull off with long hair.
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Mar
03
I took the time to read the New Yorker article referenced by the Washington Post in my last post.
It is well worth reading.
With all due respect to the esteemed Washington Post, Pejic doesn’t really seem to identify as male any more than he does female. His focus is, much like was discussed in my missive on Psychology Today, that there is no benefit to identify as one or the other.
He says he never did “drag”; he just dressed pretty, in the same way girls do. Semantics, perhaps, but evidence of a certain mindset.
He does not divide the world into girls and boys, and roles for each, orientations and attractions. He just takes it as it comes, with no labels.
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