Nov
22
Is this the reality of being trans? That normalcy is a slice of heaven?
I kinda know that already (see Just Living Life, posted only a few days ago), but I saw this graphic today on Facebook and my reaction really surprised me anyway.
Yeah, it’s cute humor, and yeah, there are those who focus on the gun thing and on feminist objections to the father’s protectiveness, but for me what really hit home – and it stopped me in my tracks – was the picture it created in my mind… of having a boyfriend who stood beside me, proud to be with me, and of having the passionate approval and protection of my parents – especially my dad.
Wow!
Funny how the idea of just being part of an almost cliched family experience can be so moving! I see a scene where I am loved and accepted (not just tolerated), protected, desired, wanted, embraced, and where I can have confidence that I belong – and it feels profound.
It seems like just getting back to zero is a major accomplishment for many trans people – and even those whose experiences have been quite positive.
But, I guess heaven is in the small things for everyone. As we strive for money and things and thrills, in a quiet moment it can hit us that genuine love of family and friends is heaven – is the only thing that really and truly matters.
Aug
14
One of the things I love most about summer are barbecues… cooking and eating outdoors, en plein air… cold, refreshing beer, the wafting of wood-fired smoke and aromas of slowly cooking meat, the special acoustic qualities of sky and trees on music out of doors, and good friends at a relaxed pace on a long weekend.
A perfect setting for an outing…
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Nov
20
Gender is the simplest thing in the world – until you (or others in your life) start questioning it. Then, there is no end of questioning, no end of wondering, of guilt, of fear, of discrimination.
Sometimes, we make the simple complicated. And sometimes, someone can find the words to cut through all the garbage and make what seems so very complicated quite simple. It all looks effortless, but we know better 😉
I commend you to this video. Watch it and share it. Simple wisdom is such a rare thing.
Sep
22
I never cease to wonder why people care what’s in your pants…
I mean, if I am out there as a woman, why would anyone make an issue out of my physical gender?
I think there is a basic shift that takes place for many people depending on whether they are dealing with a man or a woman.
There are expectations and prejudgments that go along with each, just as there are with older or younger, well-groomed or sloppy and so on.
But none is so basic as gender.
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Feb
26
No doubt you have taken note of the movie, Albert Nobbs, starring Glenn Close, currently in theaters.
It is to state the obvious that once again, we transfolk and gender-benders should be delighted with our now regular inclusion in mainstream media.
Let’s take a moment to think about how much acceptance it takes to have a movie like this made, or have a transgender model on America’s Next Top Model, or walking down the high-fashion runways all over the world.
There is the creative talent that must not only be open to it, but be so interested as to make it the focus of their work. There are the actors that must portray someone and cast a certain light on themselves. There are the producers who must have enough confidence that this will fly as to put their money into it. And, advertisers, whose main focus is to cast their product in the best possible light and have the best possible associations for it – they must be willing to align themselves with such a project. The critics, whose tastes will influence so many others, must put their reputations on the line with their commentary. And finally, the viewers, who come and see and enjoy, and come back again.
It is easy to complain; let’s take joy where we can find it.
Jul
03
I have run a few posts questioning my sanity and wondering whether I should be doing this tgirl thing.
In response, a friend (possibly tiring of my incessant whining 😉 ) wrote in and advised me to stop overthinking my existence and just enjoy being who I am – “one pretty, feminine girl,” in her words.
My first thought in answer to her comment was, “I wish I were as sure as you are.”
But, a more interesting thought followed on its heels, as I wrote my response to her comment.
I said then, “Believe me, if the world around me laid down a path to happiness lined with pink flowers and lace, I’d not think twice about it.”
As the words escaped my keyboard, their truth rang out.
It seems that what is not among the many uncertainties with which I am grappling, is any doubt that I would be perfectly happy to live as a woman.
Read More»Sep
13
After a handful of days in Montreal, it suddenly dawned on me that I don’t have to go all the way to San Diego for a place to be free and easy and Janie.
The realization came to me as I was walking down the street looking for a cafe for our Labor Day morning coffee and breakfast. I’m out and about, wearing scarcely any makeup, in jeans and a t-shirt, and I am as comfortable as can be. No one looks at me strangely; no one bothers me. I am treated with respect and courtesy…
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May
09
Duuuuuuude!!!!
I went out to the beach towns of Pacific Beach and Ocean Beach to see the beach and eat at Hodad’s.
It is incredibly cold for a 75 degree day on these coastal towns, and a fair-skinned lass like myself can find herself burned to a crispy red without ever feeling much heat! So, I took the precaution of slabbering sunscreen everywhere. I have noticed the dry, aged weathered skin of so many Southern Californians that is due to the unending supply of irresistibly beautiful sunny days and that has scared me into using sunscreen – which I rarely do.
Ocean Beach is a nice sun-kissed beach town and comes with an extensive collection of California stereotypes.
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