Jan
06
I am grateful for the comments on my recent post The Irresistible Lure of the Lens, and I think that your explanations for our obsession with taking pictures of ourselves were intelligent and thought-provoking.
Here’s my two-cents’…
I have found that t-girls obsession with the lens is matched by our inability to walk past a mirror without looking at ourselves.
Both are momentary reflections of us that teach us what we may be doing wrong and impress us with what we are doing right. And we are ever eager to learn about both.
For my money, the mirror is the better learning tool, as it is interactive. Sometimes, it’s “Goll darn, I am doing pretty good!” but more often than not, there is some flaw that bears improving, and I can look away, take a deep breath and try to change my posture, my expression or whatever, to improve my result.
Read More»Jan
03
I wonder why it is that t-girls seem to have an incessant desire to have their picture taken. I don’t really know how common it is, but my straw poll shows that almost everyone I know is so afflicted.
What answers are we looking for in the lens?
Is it just to see how well we’re doing at assuming the female guise?
Or is it more, “I can’t believe I look this way!”
Or is it, “Damn, I’m hot. Photos of myself turn me on like porn… maybe better!”
I have a good excuse: I need ‘em for my blog. (That’s my story and I’m sticking to it!)
What’s yours?
Dec
30
Ever look in the mirror and just ask yourself, “What the hell am I doing dressing and acting like a woman?”
Cuz, I still sometimes do…
Dec
27
(…continued from Missed It By That Much)
I ran into the wife of a friend of mine, in a place where and at a time when I often would go as Janie; fortunately I was in guy mode. She happened to mention that she frequents a nearby cafe for lunch that I have often gone to as Janie (though never at lunchtime).
So, I missed being discovered by the skin of my teeth, now what?
Nobody said life as Janie would be dull, right? (…kinda the point… though I can do without this particular kind of excitement.)
Clearly, if she had “caught” me, all my friends would have known in fairly short order. Once a wildfire starts spreading, it is difficult to contain, so it is impossible to know how far the flames would have spread.
By the 6 degrees of separation theory, it is more than a little possible that the news would reach the ears of people I absolutely do not want knowing.
Dealing with my friends would not be optimal, but I would cope. There would be changes, to be sure, but who knows how things come out the other end? People often surprise you.
But certain people don’t – and those are my bigger worry. Again, I’d survive, but I’d much rather not have to go through that.
So, is it worth the chance I am taking to be able to freely walk the streets?
Read More»Nov
01
I gave the issues I last wrote about some more thought, and have a few ideas to share.
For me, being female is a joyous and intense state. I am sociable, flirty and “on.” Being a guy is more of a contented and relaxed, comfortable thing. Appropriate adjectives include strong, aware, capable.
Being Janie is still quite stressful for me – not so much about being discovered, or worrying about danger any more, but more about doing things that are outside my comfort zone.
I still have so much to remember to do (and not do) when being a woman, from voice to manner to posture – things that are not yet completely innate to me.
And then, socializing is not something that comes easily to me. Though I have revelled in the friendships and interactions that I have achieved as Janie, meeting people has never been without stress for me.
Read More»
Oct
30
I hate to rain on the parade of the “I told you so”’s out there, but my wonder and joy at feeling so feminine while spending a solid week living as a woman has given way to an equal and opposite masculine feeling.
Since I have been back, I have had to be in a male mindset non-stop for almost a week, managing construction and landscaping issues and other business matters. (Don’t ask!)
After all that solid guy time, my intention to switch to girly mode today for a Halloween Party tonight and tomorrow night has met with no small amount of internal resistance.
Read More»
Sep
29
The “ Pretty Man ” experience set me thinking more and more about the idea.
If it proves possible to give voice to my feminine side without being a woman, then all the inner conflicts about whether I am two-gendered, or which gender I truly am melt away; the stigma of being trans, and the fear of discovery disappear. I go back to being one person, with one name, one wardrobe and no secrets.
The first sign of trouble, though, came the other night when I went out with friends, dressed in a tight-fitting mock turtleneck, narrow pants and somewhat feminine flats – all black.
Read More»
Sep
24
I was introduced to the term “Yaoi” by a friend I met at Southern Comfort in Atlanta. I may have spoken of her before. She was one of the most beautiful t-girls I have ever met, feminine both in appearance as well as manner.
Not long after our encounter, she gave it all up – being a girl I mean – in favor of being a yaoi-type – a beautiful feminine man who liked sleeping with men – saying that there was no need to become female to do and be all the things he wanted to do/be; he could do them just fine as a man.
Read More»Sep
19
| 17 of 19 © 2011 Connie Tsang; model: Janie Black |
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Sep
10
| 18 of 19 © 2011 Connie Tsang; model: Janie Black |
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