thought

Doing What Comes Naturally

If you have been following my story, you no doubt note that I have never indicated that I had a torturing or desperate need to express my femininity. I am no transsexual.

It should be relatively clear that the female side of my self – which is utterly genuine – is something I express because it serves me.

Yes, it is something that comes naturally to me.

Yes, it is the most fulfilling expression of my sexuality.

Yes, I love being this way.

Yes, I am hoping to follow my feminine leanings in terms of building a better life for myself – maybe I can improve on the results I achieved as a man.

There are countless reasons why being female works for me, personally – coincidences, conveniences and others, which I will recount for you one day – and I have to say that I have doubts as to whether I would have followed this path if not for a virtual Red Sea parting before me along this path.

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do i want to be dominant

Whyfore Art Thou Romeo and Not Juliet?

Yesterday, I was asked why I would feel inclined to try the boy thing again after having moved so far away from it over the past few years.

An interesting and instructive question at that.  So, here is how I answered the question, more or less:

It seemed a pretty natural idea – this experiment – given all the doubts I have expressed recently right here on my blog. I want to see what I miss or don’t miss. I want to see what has happened to my guy side – whether he is the same as before or not, and whether whatever started me on my feminine road tweaks me again.

No doubt that Janie has become a dominant force in my life, though she is not a dominant personality at all. The majority of my time has been spent as female for months now – all but a sprinkling of hours here and there.

I need a better understanding of where Janie came from, whether it is a choice or not, and whether it serves me well. I am striving to find all that out as soon as I can, and I will accept whatever is truth for me.

In that regard, take note of a little inner conversation I had this morning when I got up after not nearly enough sleep.

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