Mar
17
I’ve been Ma’am-ed before on several occasions while in male mode, but this is a whole new thing.
When someone refers to you as “Ma’am,” they see you as a blank stranger – another person in line, a customer, someone in their way… whatever.
But, today, I was getting on the plane, and a fairly good-looking man in his 40s or 50s stepped out of the aisle to let me pass, looking straight into my eyes with a smile and softly saying, “Go ahead, dear.”
Certainly not an affirmation of my masculinity, that’s for sure!
I am equal parts puzzled, concerned and pleased.
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Mar
06
I had the honor of being asked to do a guest post on Jessica de Leon’s fabulous blog, Jessica Who? To those of you who don’t know Jessica, she is a warm, outgoing, brilliantly funny, and insightful performer and writer. You owe it to yourself to spend some time with her and her friends.
My post, entitled “Second Nature Second-Nature” was published yesterday. To read it, click here. [Ed. Note: link disabled]
[Ed. Note from the future: It seems Jessica’s online presence has vanished – I really hope she is alright. If anyone has any information on her, please let me know. In the meanwhile, I have disabled the links originally provided – as someone else has taken over her site – and I am reproducing the content originally seen on her site (it is mine, after all), below.]
Second Nature Second Nature
Ever find yourself dancing around the house, feeling all feminine and joyful – or is that just me?
Umm… well, I am sure we all have our moments of inner contentment and happiness at how we are feeling as our female selves. In my case, just hearing some of my fave tunes when I am feeling that way will soon have me floating around with the music. (It would be a lot less embarrassing if I could dance at all…)
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Mar
05
I love to cook, but I seldom do any baking. It is just too exacting, and I prefer the creative freedom of throwing whatever catches my fancy into the pan and seeing what comes of it.
But, I felt like scones this morning, and they weren’t going to make themselves. So…
Surprisingly easy, these plain scones with orange zest took all of 30 minutes from setting foot in the kitchen to setting one in my mouth (scone, not foot).
Serve these up with jam and clotted cream or butter (and, of course some fine tea from Mariage Frères in Paris). Totally yummy!
(Yes, I am a bit of a gourmand. Sorry…)
Mar
03
I took the time to read the New Yorker article referenced by the Washington Post in my last post.
It is well worth reading.
With all due respect to the esteemed Washington Post, Pejic doesn’t really seem to identify as male any more than he does female. His focus is, much like was discussed in my missive on Psychology Today, that there is no benefit to identify as one or the other.
He says he never did “drag”; he just dressed pretty, in the same way girls do. Semantics, perhaps, but evidence of a certain mindset.
He does not divide the world into girls and boys, and roles for each, orientations and attractions. He just takes it as it comes, with no labels.
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Mar
01
I don’t know how many of you are familiar with the television series Bones. In many respects, it is just another crime-drama show.
What brings Bones to my blog is an episode I just happened to land on the other day, which involved a visiting Japanese forensic investigator. (This episode, though new to me, is a couple of years old, BTW.)
As a subplot to the usual grisly murder investigation, the regular characters on the show were mystified as to the gender of this visitor, and determined to figure it out. Each professed their opinion based on whatever gender markers they found relevant. There were actual debates about this.
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Feb
26
No doubt you have taken note of the movie, Albert Nobbs, starring Glenn Close, currently in theaters.
It is to state the obvious that once again, we transfolk and gender-benders should be delighted with our now regular inclusion in mainstream media.
Let’s take a moment to think about how much acceptance it takes to have a movie like this made, or have a transgender model on America’s Next Top Model, or walking down the high-fashion runways all over the world.
There is the creative talent that must not only be open to it, but be so interested as to make it the focus of their work. There are the actors that must portray someone and cast a certain light on themselves. There are the producers who must have enough confidence that this will fly as to put their money into it. And, advertisers, whose main focus is to cast their product in the best possible light and have the best possible associations for it – they must be willing to align themselves with such a project. The critics, whose tastes will influence so many others, must put their reputations on the line with their commentary. And finally, the viewers, who come and see and enjoy, and come back again.
It is easy to complain; let’s take joy where we can find it.
Feb
23
For the first time in a long time I found myself thrilled to spend a day as a guy.
I’d almost forgotten how wonderful that can be.
So much so, that when I was doing some writing a month or so ago, I had more than a little difficulty finding any reason that truly resonated inside as to why a person would want to be a guy.
But manhood can be quite a rush. A powerful feeling and a feeling of power. A feeling of strength and control and competence in a way that’s completely different from the feminine versions of those things. (This is an astounding contrast with the feelings I expressed in this post from last summer.)
If I had to find a metaphor, it would be, um… shoes. Masculine shoes and feminine shoes. Oxfords and high heels.
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Feb
22
It is impossible to crossdress in a world where there is no dress, and no dressing. So, clearly, in a world with no clothes, a crossdresser (defined here as a man who dresses like a woman but maintains his male identity throughout) is simply a man.
But, let’s take it a bit further: what makes a naked t-girl female (especially where she has had no surgery or hormones)?
Differently posed, how do you go about being “trans” in a theoretical world where there are no clothes?
That is, in essence, the question asked of me by an insightful reader comment on a post from last summer entitled Cause or Effect? that questioned whether I was trans or not. His feeling was that my answer to that question – or my attempts to answer it – would provide insight on the subject.
And, I think he was right.
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Feb
17
I went to one of my favorite cafés today, and who should I run into but an old friend of mine whom I hadn’t seen in months.
It just so happens I was coming from a doctor’s appointment; otherwise, yep, I’d have absolutely been in heels and hosiery!
Phew!
This city, that is so large and has provided such good cover for me these past few years, is starting to feel awfully small.
Feb
16
Tsk! Tsk!
America’s Next Top Model quickly removed an ad picturing transgender model contestant Isis with the tagline “The Boy is back” after complaints from the TG community. The company responsible offered apologies.
“The Top Model ad campaign is certainly not intended to be offensive, nor controversial, and we apologise for any offense it has caused. We see it as enormously positive that a hit mainstream show such as ANTM features gay and transgender contestants, and believe that Isis will be one of the stars of the upcoming series. We have, however, received feedback over the past few days that the tagline ‘The Boy is back’ used on the posters featuring Isis is offensive to the transgender community, and in response have already taken steps to have the posters in question removed.”
The complaints basically surround our desire to be referred to in the gender we present, or with which we identify.
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