Jun
15
The government of Ontario has become the first jurisdiction in North America to add gender identity and gender expression to the list of prohibited grounds of discrimination under its Human Rights Code.
Woo! hoo!
But, while I am ecstatic to be protected from discrimination, I cannot escape a nagging feeling of dread.
Read More»Jun
11
If you have been following my story, you no doubt note that I have never indicated that I had a torturing or desperate need to express my femininity. I am no transsexual.
It should be relatively clear that the female side of my self – which is utterly genuine – is something I express because it serves me.
Yes, it is something that comes naturally to me.
Yes, it is the most fulfilling expression of my sexuality.
Yes, I love being this way.
Yes, I am hoping to follow my feminine leanings in terms of building a better life for myself – maybe I can improve on the results I achieved as a man.
There are countless reasons why being female works for me, personally – coincidences, conveniences and others, which I will recount for you one day – and I have to say that I have doubts as to whether I would have followed this path if not for a virtual Red Sea parting before me along this path.
Read More»Jun
09
I am “straight.”
I realize that the concept is somewhat strained in a TG context, and far be it for anyone who is sexually interested in both men and women to honestly claim being straight, but there it is nonetheless.
Yes, I have heard that from men who only occasionally have sex with other men (“Oh, that doesn’t count.”), guys who dream about giving oral to another (another exception, apparently) and others who are simply lying to themselves.
I have no problem with being seen as bisexual, and I fully accept that any guy my female self would consider a potential sex partner is someone “I” (as in the whole of me) would as well. So yes, if you’re keeping score (or anxious to find gayness in people), I am probably bisexual.
Nevertheless, from a purely informative aspect, “straight” captures what I am about so much more clearly and completely.
Read More»Jun
08
Sometimes I wonder why I bother… Life would be so simple if I just lived within the lines that society has drawn for me.
I look at regular people who have spouses and children and jobs and friends – and they seem to be happy and leading full and wholesome lives.
They never think about gender, or dating or STDs or marginalization or passing or sexual orientation, or leading double lives, or sneaking out of their houses…
It is a mixed-up crazy world I have built for myself. So many contradictions. So many difficult concepts. So much self-examination and self-discovery. And that’s before we even consider the external challenges.
In a way, it is a very positive thing. It has forced me to better understand myself, to open my mind to new ideas and to new feelings, and to become a better person.
But, there is much work left to be done, and until I can come to some comfortable understanding of the things that continue to trouble me, the whole house of cards is in jeopardy.
Jun
06
What struck me most of all about the innocent little announcement from AP, which I read this week on Yahoo’s news feed, about Janet Jackson signing on to produce “Truth”, a documentary on the lives of transgender people, were the comments from readers, among which:
- Oh great, Hollywood pushing it’s gay agenda again!
- We live in a VERY sick society in these modern times.
- [Josh] Yep. This is what it has come to. Immoral people trying to get everyone to ‘accept’ their garbage and call it ‘tolerance.’ Anyone that ‘tolerates evil and freakishly immoral stuff like this yet bashes God needs a wake up call. If you think our society is better off with everyone being transgender and gay then you have no idea what it is to have morals and I cringe at the thought of these people having kids.
- [Anthony] I cringe at intolerant people like josh c. If you don’t agree with something that’s your right. but you don’t have to attack people just because you don’t accept who they are
- I agree, Josh. Right is considered wrong, and wrong is considered right nowadays. It IS freakish.
- And Josh yes it will come, but does it have to come now, to our families?…
Jesus never said when and think this is why, he gives us the freedom to fight this form of satanism. I actually think he would want us to fight against these demonic forces trying to push aside and discredit his teachings, if not doesn’t it just defeat the purpose of it all. - We really need to go to the barn, dust off and break out the hot tar and the feathers and rail to carry them out on
May
29
For a long time, just being the woman that I am was something, was enough.
I did everything that needed to be done as a man, and when it was time for fun, there was Janie, the party girl.
But, now I am realizing that Janie has to pull her own weight or risk becoming a fantasy, a pretense.
I cringe a little as I say this, but I need to undertake work, drudgery and conflict, commitment and responsibility, problems and challenges, routine and expectation – all as a woman if Janie is going to continue to feel real to me.
Funny, though, because part of the inner appeal of my femininity has been how light and wondrous it has felt. And, now I seem intent on weighing it down with reality.
Read More»May
28
After a week of partying with Wildside friends, there is a temptation for those of us who are struggling with the place of our feminine side in our lives to think that a week of such fun validates this lifestyle choice.
After all, we find friendship and common ground, we have no issues with acceptance and no need for pretence. And, quite understandably, our hearts soar.
The Pink Fog
We are liberated from our worries, freed of our real-world shackles, welcomed with open arms and smiles and laughter, and exposed to the company of role models and sisters of the same feather.
…and none of it would be possible without being T.
The people we meet would not be as open to meeting others if they weren’t T (we all know that making any new friends in middle age is tough, nevermind great friends). We wouldn’t be as needy without being T. The greatness of the people we meet is inseparable from their T-ness. The ease with which we all find common ground is tied into being T. And, so on…
It is almost irresistible to contemplate that our everyday lives could be just the same, if only…
Read More»May
25
Coming down off the high that is my reunion with the great women of Wildside, I have to remind myself of what real life is about. There is at least a bit of a tendency to think, “Ahhh, that’s the good life; that’s what being a tgirl is all about!”
But, it’s not.
As much as the friendships and good times are the stuff of which a great life is made, the experiences of that week are far too intense and short-lived to be able to extrapolate much from them.
Burning It Up
Wildside burns like a meteor, which – as everyone knows – soon crashes to the ground. We all put our party-selves into high gear and rock Vegas for a week, but by the end of it, even the most hearty of our number – and perhaps, especially they – have run out of gas and need a week to recuperate.
Read More»May
24
If you think a soulful and sensible person has to be boring, you haven’t met Jennifer Long.
I have major trust issues; I admit it. I am very slow to trust people on two separate levels – their intent and their judgment. But, Jennifer is wise, sensible and truly good. I sensed it right away. She broke down my defences in a heartbeat.
I had corresponded with her online before meeting her, but at that first meeting, she assumed the role of a playful dominatrix, giggling an evil giggle.
I responded to this relative stranger by relaxing and putting myself in her hands.
Read More»May
22
The women of Wildside are near and dear to my heart. Herewith a few photos of me and my friends:
These women are more than just pretty faces and sexy bodies; they are truly special people.
Read More»
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