Nov
14
Comments on my recent post about dealing with the temptation to get my ears pierced ran inevitably toward the idea that one should do what makes one happy, especially when it comes to one’s body.
I replied there and repeat here, that we live among people, and the quality of our lives depends to a great extent on the relationships we create.
To be able to put at risk relationships that have endured decades on the hope that others of comparable richness will rise to take their place is an act of courage, no doubt.
I understand that a person has to be true to herself. But, in many issues – and perhaps in most of the issues of complex soul-searching – the truth is not so clear, at least to me.
Others seem to see my true nature so much more clearly than I can, and I have to ask myself whether I am being dense or they are jumping to unwarranted conclusions.
I know that a big part of my hesitation is that I am at a stage where moving forward is a big step – perhaps not so much externally as conceptually. Not moving forward is also a big decision, but not deciding is less so.
It would be nice to just allow myself to float the way my emotions lead.
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Jul
03
I have run a few posts questioning my sanity and wondering whether I should be doing this tgirl thing.
In response, a friend (possibly tiring of my incessant whining 😉 ) wrote in and advised me to stop overthinking my existence and just enjoy being who I am – “one pretty, feminine girl,” in her words.
My first thought in answer to her comment was, “I wish I were as sure as you are.”
But, a more interesting thought followed on its heels, as I wrote my response to her comment.
I said then, “Believe me, if the world around me laid down a path to happiness lined with pink flowers and lace, I’d not think twice about it.”
As the words escaped my keyboard, their truth rang out.
It seems that what is not among the many uncertainties with which I am grappling, is any doubt that I would be perfectly happy to live as a woman.
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