Ahhh, the Dating Game…

Bachelor Number One

Out last night at a bar, I found myself dancing alone on the dancefloor when a guy came up and asked if he could dance with me.  Not really interested but happy to have some attention, I agreed.

We danced for a song or two, and then he started dancing ever closer to me.  At first I tried to restore the distance between us, but eventually gave up on repeatedly backing away.

However, certain business had to be taken care of.  I don’t do surprises, and I’m pretty sure that dancing any closer would have given him information he might not have been happy to receive in that way, if you know what I mean…

So, I just whispered 5 words in his ear, “I’m not physically a girl.”  There is probably a more enlightened PC way of phrasing it, but I find that short, unequivocal and to the point is best in these matters.

Fully-informed, he was sweet enough to continue to dance with me but at a slowly but ever-increasing distance.  Soon, he faded away… and I was back to dancing alone…

Bachelor Number Two

Later, I walked by a couple standing and talking with another couple.

As I passed by, one of the handsome gentlemen stepped back from the conversation and brushed my elbow.

“Are you here alone?” he asked in a soft voice, with a smile.

“’fraid so.” I replied.

“I’m here with my girlfriend. Why don’t you come join us?” he said, smiling.

I wasn’t sure what he wanted. (Well, I kinda was…)

He leaned in closer and held my hand.  “We’ve never been with another woman,” he offered.

Ho-hum, here we go again…

“Darling, I’m afraid I have to tell you that I’m not physically a woman.”

He gently let go of my hand and dealt with it as elegantly as he could muster, but he was caught completely off-guard and couldn’t help babbling at least a little bit.  I made it easy for him by walking off in the opposite direction.

“Wow!” I thought.  “Nice to be appreciated,” though the larger point of unanimous rejection of my true self was not lost on me.