When it comes to that sort of ostracism and silent exclusion I’d have to say I could never tell. Regardless of whether it was obvious gender bending and everyone knew or it was a total secret everyone and their treatment of me seemed to be the same. The few who were offended, unforgiving and angry (All women. Go figure.) were obvious.

You live in I would assume a society with it’s own set of standards and any similarity to Southern California would be coincidental. Notwithstanding general rules of thumb all bets are off when you get down to an individual’s point of view. Right? So all I can do is say what my experience was when my gender bending was obvious and everyone knew and when it wasn’t obvious. Briefly by employment period as a Senior Programmer Analyst in chronological order:
Los Angeles Municipal Court, 5.5 years. Had my ears pierced 2nd year. Used fish line trick to hide it while healing. Wore suit, tie and regular haircut the whole time. My ears were never hidden but no one ever noticed the holes. I kept my femme self totally secret never wearing or doing anything else that might give it away.
Clothestime Inc., 7 months. Wore thigh high panties to work everyday. I was standing alone in the break room one afternoon facing the window as the sunlight streamed in. A young lady entered the room behind me and recognized the outline of my underwear the sun had revealed under my suit pants. She bounced up in front of me with a big smile on her face and I could see her eyes moving from side to side studying my face for about 3 seconds apparently looking for other confirming features or clues. She left just as quickly without saying a word giving me the impression she could hardly wait to tell her friends about it. The grapevine lit up and it was obvious to me at least the women knew including my manager, Linda. She was sympathetic and I could see her concern but she held herself back from breaching the subject unless I brought it up. I didn’t. Nothing of consequence occurred after that.
Bugle Boy Industries, 3.5 years. This is where Bob mentioned it when my light nail colors finally bright enough to be noticed. Nothing else happened until I showed up as Goldilocks and the three bears for Halloween. That raised some suspicion and I overheard one gal saying to two others, “He could not have learned to walk in those heels overnight.” She was right. I won first prize and nothing I could tell of consequence happened after that either. Then I appeared as Shirley on the Leeza Gibbons show with 3 other cross dressers, my wife and oldest daughter. The day the show aired the grapevine lit up like lightning had struck it. Bob informed me that everyone knew. That was the last I heard about it and still nothing of consequence as far as I could tell happened.
Countrywide Funding, 1.5 years. Didn’t do anything provocative.
Gary’s Tuxedo’s, 3 months. Only wore modest nail colors and showed up cross dressed for Halloween. The comptroller was an older woman outraged that I would dare to wear nail polish to work. She never spoke to me but she would glare at me angrily whenever she saw me. She asked the owner to fire me but he told her she would have to get personnel’s approval to do that. She finally got the personnel director to reluctantly come and give me a warning. All he said was, “The nail polish is considered inappropriate and you should take it off.” then left. That pissed me off. I wasn’t going to take it off for that bitch or anyone else. The job sucked to begin with and the job market was very good at the time. I didn’t take it off and two weeks later I was suddenly escorted to the door. I made two phone calls and had another job in less than two weeks. The company subsequently went bankrupt.
Lamps Plus, 7 years. Settled in a few months then started wearing nail polish again progressing to bright colors such as red, purple, violet, lavender and pink. Had fun comparing nail colors with Doris our department manager. Switched to medium length acrylics like I wear now. Got my ears pierced a second time. Wore diamond studs and gold hoop earrings up to an inch in diameter. Wore women’s shoes, black closed toe flats up to 1.25 inch heels. Tried an open toed black pump, all straps with a 2 inch heel once but that made me too nervous. Wore trouser socks, sometimes conservative blouses, women’s slacks and modest bras. Never wore men’s underwear. Did 4 Halloweens in a row cross dressed. Nothing negative I know of ever came of it all. Everyone knew or could plainly see I was gender bent in some way but the anti discrimination policy of the company was quite clear and no one was fool enough to say one word or do anything that would get them in trouble with personnel. I never got a warning from personnel. Comically to the extent it is funny two women were obviously offended and grumpy about me. They worked in different departments and were powerless to do anything about me. They would not speak to me unless I spoke to them and would walk past me with their noses in the air as if I wasn’t there looking aloof and offended by someone as disgusting as me. I didn’t think highly of them either but there’s no need to elaborate.
I became disabled and had to retire after that. Depressed I didn’t do much of anything or much in the way of gender bending until 2010 when I started to recover. Then something lit a fire under me and I took off gaining momentum exponentially until I became the wicked bitch of the West I am today. I’m unstoppable, unsinkable and at times very annoying, almost as annoying as the beloved old battle axe Virginia Prince, pioneer and author, the one who coined the term transgenderist to distinguish herself from transsexuals and founded Tri-Ess National for heterosexual cross dressers, their wives and significant others. The term transgender was derived from her term and subsequently came to mean much more. I’m proud to follow in her footsteps and those of only one other not so well known, Kimberly Richards. Very, very few choose to live full time as women but will not transition like transsexuals and undergo SRS. They are so rare they are off the radar and there are no statistics. I am one of those almost as rare as JC Himself. The human race has had a love affair with categories from the day one earnestly wanting to fit everyone into the right one but when you narrow it down to the individual it is absurd because everyone is absolutely unique. There has never been anyone before, nor is there now, nor will there ever be anyone exactly like you. It is the roll of God’s infinite dice and a gift to you from Him. You are an absolute blessing to the world. Live it with the volume turned up to the max. Blast it out ignoring any other concept of what you should be or what you should do. That is their concept, not yours. Resign yourself to what you perceive as their limits for you or be your true self. I had lots of good reasons to conform and told myself it was impractical and that it would never work for me.to live as a woman but I was mistaken. I live as a woman now and I couldn’t be happier.
Stare at the stars and what do you see? A universe so infinite you couldn’t explore it all from one star to another in just one galaxy in your your lifetime even if you had a starship capable of getting from one star to another quickly. We will never reach the end even with a Star Trek warp drive at the max. Since we can’t beam up let’s do lunch and go shopping. I have to fluff up the public. They’re starved for entertainment and it’s just so much fun to play with them. Somehow I feel like the Cheshire cat and want to stretch my claws smiling before digging in. I’d just like one of those star fleet form fitting uniforms and a body to match. Dear me. What’s a girl to do on these lonely long voyages between solar systems? lol I try to be a good girl but I’m not. Somehow I can’t stop smiling and giving people looks. You of course have no wicked thoughts and of course neither do I (BS). Once I have my brains f****d out I’m fine. lol Who wouldn’t be?

You rock girl,
Shirley