For women, finding the right man can be a hard thing to do in the best of circumstances.  But, for me, the difficulty is off the charts.

Just being trans whittles down the pool by more than 90%, I figure.  But that’s just the beginning.

Being in a relationship complicates matters further. (More on this next time – and no, I would never cheat.)

For a time, I was going out to receptive venues to test out my feminine sexuality and just to see if anything or anyone piqued my interest.

There was one guy who I found handsome and charming and we developed a certain rapport. But I cut and ran when I couldn’t shake the feeling that he didn’t respect my existence as a person. I wasn’t asking for much, but he could give nothing.  My perception was that he needed to view me as nothing more than an impersonal object.

I couldn’t accept that.

Even though I was curious about my limits and all, and there he was, ready and willing…

So, what was the problem?

For better or worse, I think the answer is less about self-respect than it is about self-preservation.

I’m not sure exactly how I’ll feel if and when I allow anything to happen with a man. This is all so new and uncertain for me. But I certainly don’t want someone to treat me like crap at that very vulnerable moment.

There’ll be more on this topic, so come back Saturday and check it out.  K?