reputation

Updating my male gender identity to include seeing my male self in feminine terms would be a most profound change for me. What I am contemplating here flies in the face of everything I have done to defend the purity of my male self as a regular guy separate and apart from my feminine side. That was precisely the driving force behind the emergence of a separate persona to express a side of me that was incompatible with who I had been until then.

Nowhere is this more profound than in terms of my sexuality.

To me, being Janie means not only the superficial, social and emotional aspects of womanhood, but also an attraction for men. As I have always viewed sexuality in heterosexual terms, it was so implicit that I never gave it much thought: like duh, if I am female, I am attracted to men.

But then, if I am morphing the straight woman that Janie is into a feminine male version of myself, then I would have to get my mind around the idea that I, as a guy, can be attracted to men.