A Girl’s Good Name

I have been deliberating lately about posting risqué photos of myself online. Why? Why not?

It is funny that some t-girls use the fact that they look unlike their true selves and have a made-up name as license to behave in a way that they truly might be ashamed of. Of course it has occurred to me that I could publish even pornographic pictures of myself and it would not affect my daily life or reputation.

But it would affect Janie’s.

And Janie is me.

After you’ve been a woman for a while, you realize that you’ve made friends and relationships with others based on who she is. She is alive, she has a reputation to protect quite apart from the one that’s attached to your birth certificate.

So, I decided to adopt this credo when publishing photos of me: If my dream came true and everyone in my life knew about Janie and accepted her enthusiastically, would I then be ashamed if they should find those photos of me/her?

For many of us, this is likely not simply or completely hypothetical. There may very well come a day when the jig is up and someone finds out about your alter-ego. On that day, it will be of infinite help that you are proud of the girl that you are. We can always blame others for being closed-minded when it comes to refusing to accept our “enhanced” gender, but we can only blame ourselves if they judge us on our poor decisions.

Besides, and far and away most importantly, the respect that counts most is our own self-respect. Belittling our female selves shows what we think of her and of ourselves. If you don’t respect the woman that you are, why bother being one at all? If you feel compelled to be a woman but hate her, that sounds like a subject for counseling if there ever was one…

Now, I should clarify that I am not saying that one should be prim and proper and prissy. (In fact, I still haven’t completely given up on the idea that I might post risqué photos of myself one day.) That is up to the individual and their own personal morals. I am only saying that whatever lifestyle you feel is appropriate, apply the same standard to your girl-self. Just my opinion.