Dec
01
The other day, I saw a crime show on television called “Perception.” The basic premise of the particular episode in question involved a doctor who was “curing” men of their gay-ness by giving them a pleasure-inducing drug and having them have sex with women while feeling that pleasure. The idea was to create a permanent association between hetero sex and pleasure.
Read More»Jun
09
I am “straight.”
I realize that the concept is somewhat strained in a TG context, and far be it for anyone who is sexually interested in both men and women to honestly claim being straight, but there it is nonetheless.
Yes, I have heard that from men who only occasionally have sex with other men (“Oh, that doesn’t count.”), guys who dream about giving oral to another (another exception, apparently) and others who are simply lying to themselves.
I have no problem with being seen as bisexual, and I fully accept that any guy my female self would consider a potential sex partner is someone “I” (as in the whole of me) would as well. So yes, if you’re keeping score (or anxious to find gayness in people), I am probably bisexual.
Nevertheless, from a purely informative aspect, “straight” captures what I am about so much more clearly and completely.
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Feb
21
I read, with great skepticism, a year-old article with an astounding premise: that gender can be changed by the manipulation of one gene!
The article is here.
The idea is that gender depends, at least in part, on the competing action of genes that are shared by both sexes. That means that we all maintain the ability to change from one to the other, potentially… The therapy actually changed the reproductive organs of the mice upon which it was conducted, and without adverse effect.
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Jul
11
As I contemplate my life – and it all seems so complicated – it occurs to me how simple life is in what I call Disneyland. Maybe, I’m thinking of Mayberry. Or is it Pleasantville?
Anyhow, whichever it is, a boy grows up there all wholesome and unconflicted, finds a local beauty to marry and live with happily ever after, has a satisfying job and 3 kids that came to be in the purest of ways. Everybody is happy. Days are spent in productive efforts and politically correct conversation, and the community thrives. In time, they will grow old and wise, and be surrounded with generations of family and friends, until they slip peacefully into the great beyond, with a contented smile on their faces.
Of course, this is fantasy, but the question is, “By how much?”
I sometimes see certain people on the street that look to me to have come straight out of such a scenario. No doubt, I am projecting, but when I see a young, rosy-cheeked woman in a modest but pretty dress, with a wedding ring on her finger and a necklace with a cross, smiling as she gracefully makes her way to her destination, I wonder…
So, Why Not Me?
Why do I make things so hard on myself? Why do I try to explore all the options, to color outside the lines, to reinvent the wheel? Maybe blissful ignorance and faith in the tried and true is the real path to lasting happiness?
Read More»May
29
Ever since I returned home from a recent driving trip, I have been out of sorts. I have fallen into one of those periods of malaise that affects many crossdressers, I’m sure, where I am just not sure whether the whole thing isn’t just a waste of time.
Self-Doubt
Despite the many strides I have made, there seems to be lingering doubts as to whether I am simply being self-destructive, or maybe even undertaking some elaborate form of procrastination.
I mean, I put a lot of time and effort into all things Janie.
Then, sometimes I find myself face to face with the mirror, thinking, “You’re just such a weirdo. Wouldn’t your time be better spent on something more constructive? What good can come of this? Stop trying to be something you’re not!”
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