Nov
24
I believe that Thanksgiving is a wonderful holiday, and, more to the point, a wonderful philosophy. It seems to me that the happiest people make thanks-giving a daily way of life.
We should never take for granted the things that we have, even if there is so much more that we may want. Nothing is ever achieved alone, so there is always someone to thank, or failing all else, just thank your lucky stars.
Food in our mouths, health in our bodies, peace in our part of the world, maybe a little love in our lives – just to name a few things – these are essential features of our lives that we just assume will be there for us.
That’s awfully presumptuous.
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Oct
29
During this week, I have made a point of concentrating on the way I speak. I mentioned last time that I took a voice lesson and attended seminars at Fantasia. But, what I want to talk about now is what I am learning from myself, having spent the week focusing on my speech.
This is the first time I have not let myself off the hook in terms of communicating as a woman. In public, in private, alone or on stage, talking to others or to myself (yes, I am nuts!), I insisted from myself that I speak as a woman.
I usually let my guard down when walking on the street or sitting at home talking about stuff with GF. Not this week. If I got upset, I’d often tend to fall back into guy voice to cope; not this week. In fact, any time I found myself faltering in any way, I’d excuse myself and go to the bathroom and regroup (something that became less necessary as the week wore on).
Read More»Nov
15
Our Fantasia experience was winding down, and it was time to say goodbye to those who weren’t going back to the hospitality suite, but the club started playing some 1980s disco to close out the night, tunes like Celebration, You Make Me Feel Mighty Real, Hot Stuff, etc. and GF and others wanted to dance to this stuff, so despite my poor aching feet, how could I say no?
The hospitality suite was only across the street,but by the time I managed to pry the door open, my feet were killing me again, and I staggered through the door with a staccato, “Owww… oww… ow!” to snickers of laughter. (Where’s the sympathy, empathy, support and understanding? Huh?)
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Oct
29
By the 5th day there has been some attrition. A couple of my new friends have left and one had to abandon his female self for the rest of the week for the sake of the sanity of his partner. There has been some heavy drinking happening, and I don’t really know how much of it is just in good fun and how much is a symptom of problems.
For my part, I have been unable to sleep for more than 6 hours in any one night and so I am physically and emotionally pooped. I went out today as completely androgynous as possible, dropping any semblance of effort to appear as the fabulous woman that I am. I’m not used to being a girl for this long without interruption and that pesky guy in me wants to come up for air. My girlfriend misses him a bit too. But if for some reason I have momentarily forgotten, when I crawl out of bed and look at myself in the mirror and brush away my tousled hair from my eyes with my hand and I notice those beautiful deep purple nails, it hits me again that Janie’s still here and I love her.
Truly, I am having such fun being a girl! Just the way I walk transforms me into a female state,
Read More»Oct
22
It’s Day 2 of Fantasia Fair and I am sitting here in the Purple Feather Coffee Shop writing my thoughts. Every time I look up I see one or two crossdressers on the sidewalk outside the storefront windows. From time to time one of them comes in here and orders a coffee. For a crossdresser, it is such a different feeling to be hanging out in a place where you are just another person; it is understood that your lifestyle is completely off the charts everywhere else, but here it is as if there is a world where we can just live a normal life – even if you are a rank beginner.
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