Aug

25

Gender Divide

Introspection / Transgender Life  Posted by / 2 comments

After some time as a guy, it has become a bit easier to notice some of the differences in the way being a woman makes me feel.

Long gone are the days when I would dress to turn myself on. Was a time, I would look in the mirror and see a hottie (my opinion only) staring back at me, and that was enough.

These days, I dress appropriately to the task of meeting and attracting others – friends acquaintances and others – and functioning in society while expressing my own personal style.

As I have been flittering through my home, I realize that being female means being aware – of oneself, of one’s environment and of others.

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Aug

19

Salon Experience

Health and Beauty / Modeling / Transgender Life  Posted by / 16 comments

I had my hair done the other day and I have to say that I am coming to love the salon experience, even if it always ends with an obscenely large bill.

A couple of years ago, I came to the conclusion that a wig was too artificial-feeling, too hot, and too fake-looking to allow me to be comfortable and feel natural being Janie.  I don’t judge others, and I realize many tgirls feel differently about this – or have no choice – but the way I come at this thing personally, internally, it really became a matter of self-respect for me.

So, I started by trying to find a sympathetic place where they would cut my hair in such a way that it could pass for a girl’s do, but still was a serviceable male cut.

A few sessions of that led me to the conclusion that if I was ever going to be happy with my girl look, my hair was going to have to be distinctly feminine.  I wasn’t going to reshape my face surgically, so my hair had to do it for me.

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Aug

15

New Experience

Health and Beauty / Transgender Life  Posted by / 5 comments

I always let you know when I have had a new thought or new experience, sometimes profound, sometimes, well, not so much.

So, within the definite scope of the latter, I present to you a recount of my latest new experience as a girl.

I got dressed this morning in a cute pink t-shirt and low-waisted white denim capris, with white pumps. Bleary-eyed and in serious need of my coffee, I flipped on the machine and read some of the newspaper while it did its magic.

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Aug

12

First Day Back – Quiet Joy

Introspection / Transgender Life  Posted by / 12 comments

I decided to make a trial run of my return to being Janie today.

I don’t know why I chose this particular moment; I had to rush like mad to get ready if I was to make my appointed rounds. And, after so long, I wasn’t sure whether I would remember everything – the makeup, the jewelry, the purse, the walking, the voice. But, I had decided, and when a girl makes up her mind, there’s no reasoning with her.

Or, maybe that’s just me.

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Aug

09

Why Now? – Getting Real

Introspection / Transgender Life  Posted by / 31 comments

Some of you may be wondering, as one reader asked me the other day, why “all this self-doubt has surfaced.”

First, I thank all of you for your concern and encouragement.  But, don’t worry, I’m not despairing.

The truth is, I have kinda forced the issue…

I have been Janie for some time now, and for the most part, I have just let things unfold as nature would have them unfold, and took it as it came.

I have followed a well-worn path of first dressing alone at home, then, feeling the need to get out of the house, I started going to clubs and finding out-of-the-way shops and cafes.  I started posting photos and thoughts on the internet, feeling that the vastness of the world-wide-web offered sufficient protection to my identity – that those I knew would be unlikely to run across my images – and that has held true, so far.

But, as Janie develops, I have found that it is never enough. 

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Aug

08

Subtle Difference

Introspection / Transgender Life  Posted by / 6 comments

After more than two weeks of uninterrupted manhood (slightly impurified by the Janie duties to which am committed and to which I had to attend) I tentatively put my toe in the waters of femininity today.

I am just wearing short workout shorts and a cropped t-shirt and running shoes, but, for the first time in a while, I am allowing my feminine persona to emerge a little, just to feel what it is like. I am still not certain whether the experiment of being a guy is over, but I wanted to see the difference, if only for a day.

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cause or effect
Aug

03

Cause or Effect?

Introspection / Transgender Life  Posted by / 30 comments

Am I trans?

Seems like a ridiculous question.  And yet, here I am asking it anyway.

This is not a semantic or political issue for me, and it’s not a debate about the meaning of the word or the condition.

The question is meant simply to ask whether the girl part of me is really part of my true nature or not.

I have been an observer of this scene long enough to have come to the conclusion that there are a host of reasons why guys dress up as girls, and many of them have little to do with a female spirit living inside them – at least in my view.

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how not to do inclusiveness
Jul

29

What Passes for Inclusiveness

Politics and Opinion / Transgender Life  Posted by / 6 comments

We have a little gay magazine here called “In” – as in “inclusive,” I presume.

It sure pretends to be.

Have a look at their cover picture.  See if you can spot the realistic representative of our community…

Actually, there are two trans people in this photo; there’s also an FTM transsexual.

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Jul

28

Kinky Kazaky

Politics and Opinion / Transgender Life  Posted by / 2 comments

Ever heard of Kazaky?

They are an up-and-coming boy band, with multi-million-hit youtube releases of two music videos last year.  Kazaky is a highly sexualized, gender-bending energetic, athletic Ukranian band, pumping out beat-heavy dance anthems that are actually pretty good!

But, what caught my eye – aside from their rock-hard abs and impressively synched dance steps – was that these boys do it in 4-inch heels!

Now, you know that I am not a big fan of mixing and mashing genders, but I do try to keep an open mind and see how each new idea in this regard hits me, as honestly as possible.

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Jul

26

Car Trouble

Out in the World / Transgender Life  Posted by / 8 comments

Among the many things I worry about when going out as a girl, car trouble  rarely makes the list.

And, there I was, driving along when my car just up and died on me.  I tried to rouse the patient, but it wasn’t responding.

And, to make matters worse, I had forgotten my cellphone.

I sat there, a little annoyed that my day was about to be ruined when I realized how thankful I should be that I was, at that moment, my guy self.

Phew!!

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