Introspection

A Kid Again – A Second Adolescence

This whole crossdressing thing is a second adolescence for me. Adolescence is the time when you are discovering your body, your sexuality, your limitations, and it is a wonderful time that is wistfully recalled by most people but impossible to recapture. It didn’t feel as wonderful then as we now know it was.

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That White Powder Always Makes Me High

Many people, at the first sign of winter, will start pining for a sunny beach vacation in Cancun or in the Caribbean. Not me. I love the changing seasons, and each has its charms for me.

It snowed here yesterday and last night. It never ceases to amaze me, the inner feeling of peace and joy I get from walking about on a calm night while snow falls softly from the sky.

The town is always quiet and it makes me quiet. Winter quiet is different than summer, when crickets and other noises of nature’s life are always there. Nature is resting in heavenly peace right now. There’s no wind. It doesn’t feel cold at all. And, places that are normally dark and scary at night, like parks, are lit up by the reflection of the moonlight in the white snow.

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How Long Can You Go Without (Being) A Man?

By the 5th day there has been some attrition. A couple of my new friends have left and one had to abandon his female self for the rest of the week for the sake of the sanity of his partner. There has been some heavy drinking happening, and I don’t really know how much of it is just in good fun and how much is a symptom of problems.
For my part, I have been unable to sleep for more than 6 hours in any one night and so I am physically and emotionally pooped. I went out today as completely androgynous as possible, dropping any semblance of effort to appear as the fabulous woman that I am. I’m not used to being a girl for this long without interruption and that pesky guy in me wants to come up for air. My girlfriend misses him a bit too. But if for some reason I have momentarily forgotten, when I crawl out of bed and look at myself in the mirror and brush away my tousled hair from my eyes with my hand and I notice those beautiful deep purple nails, it hits me again that Janie’s still here and I love her.

Truly, I am having such fun being a girl! Just the way I walk transforms me into a female state,

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