Aug
29
(… continued from Roles)
It occurs to me that people generally put no small amount of effort into presenting an image of themselves to the world through the way they dress about who they are and how they want to be seen and treated.
Whether it is the youngster in a t-shirt and ball-cap with his pants hanging well below his underwear or the businessman with a $2,000 suit and professionally selected shirt and tie to complement the look, each has taken a great deal of trouble to send a message about their self-image.
We all know what is likely to be the result of our presentation choices based on our understanding of social norms in society today.
Read More»Jun
09
I am “straight.”
I realize that the concept is somewhat strained in a TG context, and far be it for anyone who is sexually interested in both men and women to honestly claim being straight, but there it is nonetheless.
Yes, I have heard that from men who only occasionally have sex with other men (“Oh, that doesn’t count.”), guys who dream about giving oral to another (another exception, apparently) and others who are simply lying to themselves.
I have no problem with being seen as bisexual, and I fully accept that any guy my female self would consider a potential sex partner is someone “I” (as in the whole of me) would as well. So yes, if you’re keeping score (or anxious to find gayness in people), I am probably bisexual.
Nevertheless, from a purely informative aspect, “straight” captures what I am about so much more clearly and completely.
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Feb
25
Lately, I have been overwhelmed by the number of supportive articles I have found in mainstream media.
This most recent example is an article in Psychology Today discussing the obsolescence of defining sexual orientation and gender.
[M]any young people are no longer finding that categorization by sexual identity is meaningful or useful. They dispense with labels that limit behavorial freedom and instead are digging deeper to discover and embrace their true desires wherever that leads them. Their sexual partner’s gender matters less than the fulfillment of their physical and psychological desires…
We are beginning to recognize that we may no longer need to be part of a sexual community of others who share our attractions. Instead, as our culture continues to shift, we are leaning towards honoring the uniqueness of our individual desires.
The author’s conclusion:
“[M]y inner truth was more perfectly found within my desires than within any identity I subscribed to.”
The whole article is at: http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/intelligent-lust/201202/beyond-sexual-orientation
Feb
11
I was watching an episode of Pan Am the other day, in which a stewardess was mortified to find her privately-taken nude photos in a local art gallery.
The gallery owner was quite sympathetic to her embarrassment, but at the same time expressed the profound conviction that the photos were exceptional and beautiful, not for the way they looked but for the way they made him, or viewers generally, feel.
They were art.
Yes, I recognize that porn is also about how it makes you feel, and while we can debate the merits of that another day, the difference here is that the photographs in question touch viewers in far more complex (and even intimate) ways, emotionally and intellectually. Titillation, if at all present, is a subtle nuance rather than a slap in the face (or a yank in the pants).
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Jul
28
Ever heard of Kazaky?
They are an up-and-coming boy band, with multi-million-hit youtube releases of two music videos last year. Kazaky is a highly sexualized, gender-bending energetic, athletic Ukranian band, pumping out beat-heavy dance anthems that are actually pretty good!
But, what caught my eye – aside from their rock-hard abs and impressively synched dance steps – was that these boys do it in 4-inch heels!
Now, you know that I am not a big fan of mixing and mashing genders, but I do try to keep an open mind and see how each new idea in this regard hits me, as honestly as possible.
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