Aug
12
I decided to make a trial run of my return to being Janie today.
I don’t know why I chose this particular moment; I had to rush like mad to get ready if I was to make my appointed rounds. And, after so long, I wasn’t sure whether I would remember everything – the makeup, the jewelry, the purse, the walking, the voice. But, I had decided, and when a girl makes up her mind, there’s no reasoning with her.
Or, maybe that’s just me.
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Jul
11
As I contemplate my life – and it all seems so complicated – it occurs to me how simple life is in what I call Disneyland. Maybe, I’m thinking of Mayberry. Or is it Pleasantville?
Anyhow, whichever it is, a boy grows up there all wholesome and unconflicted, finds a local beauty to marry and live with happily ever after, has a satisfying job and 3 kids that came to be in the purest of ways. Everybody is happy. Days are spent in productive efforts and politically correct conversation, and the community thrives. In time, they will grow old and wise, and be surrounded with generations of family and friends, until they slip peacefully into the great beyond, with a contented smile on their faces.
Of course, this is fantasy, but the question is, “By how much?”
I sometimes see certain people on the street that look to me to have come straight out of such a scenario. No doubt, I am projecting, but when I see a young, rosy-cheeked woman in a modest but pretty dress, with a wedding ring on her finger and a necklace with a cross, smiling as she gracefully makes her way to her destination, I wonder…
So, Why Not Me?
Why do I make things so hard on myself? Why do I try to explore all the options, to color outside the lines, to reinvent the wheel? Maybe blissful ignorance and faith in the tried and true is the real path to lasting happiness?
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Aug
31
Y’know, I have always been one to want to keep my male and female sides separate. There is much to discuss on the merits or demerits of mixing genders – feminine masculinity and masculine femininity – but I’ll leave those for another time.
Right now, I am talking about my personal efforts to be a real guy when I’m a guy, and a real gal when I’m Jane. This requires, for me, a change not only of clothing but mindset, and so, I prefer to be Janie in as large blocks of time as life will permit, and my male self likewise in big chunks of time.
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