artificial

One of the reasons I sometimes doubt the authenticity of my feminine side is that I find myself almost with a feeling that I am observing myself.

I have many things to remember to do differently in order to be the woman I imagine myself to be, and there is a sort of internal dialogue going on sometimes as I evaluate myself.

That doesn’t seem natural and so I start to get a sinking feeling that if it takes so much effort, it may just be that I am putting the whole thing on. I start wondering whether it is simply an exercise in self-deception.

But, I probably should cut myself a little slack here.