Jan
19
Updating my male gender identity to include seeing my male self in feminine terms would be a most profound change for me. What I am contemplating here flies in the face of everything I have done to defend the purity of my male self as a regular guy separate and apart from my feminine side. That was precisely the driving force behind the emergence of a separate persona to express a side of me that was incompatible with who I had been until then.
Nowhere is this more profound than in terms of my sexuality.
To me, being Janie means not only the superficial, social and emotional aspects of womanhood, but also an attraction for men. As I have always viewed sexuality in heterosexual terms, it was so implicit that I never gave it much thought: like duh, if I am female, I am attracted to men.
But then, if I am morphing the straight woman that Janie is into a feminine male version of myself, then I would have to get my mind around the idea that I, as a guy, can be attracted to men.
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Sep
01
Now that I have discussed Roles (and Multiple Roles) and Impressions – The Message of Our Presentation, it is time to go back to the questions I posed last week about being an imposter or intruder.
The other day, I found myself having to switch back and forth between my two selves.
I woke up and went to a neighborhood cafe to write my blog as Janie.
But, I knew that my lunch was going to be with family members who expected “him” and this was to be followed by a little road trip to meet some people in the evening: more Janie-business.
It is a bit of a trip switching back and forth. Here is a stream of consciousness about my day: I put on an androgynous t-shirt and light-colored feminine jeans that roll up to capris, showing off my new anklet; I went to the bathroom at the cafe in the morning an used the women’s room; while working, my hair was getting in my face, so I took out my hair clip and pinned my hair up; just before leaving for lunch, I rolled down my jeans to cover my legs, and went back to the bathroom – this time the men’s room; as I was leaving, I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror which reminded my to take that hairclip out of my hair (sheesh!), at which time I decided that a manly pony-tail was more in order; I had my lunch date, and then transformed myself back to the way I looked in the morning for the drive…
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Aug
29
(… continued from Roles)
It occurs to me that people generally put no small amount of effort into presenting an image of themselves to the world through the way they dress about who they are and how they want to be seen and treated.
Whether it is the youngster in a t-shirt and ball-cap with his pants hanging well below his underwear or the businessman with a $2,000 suit and professionally selected shirt and tie to complement the look, each has taken a great deal of trouble to send a message about their self-image.
We all know what is likely to be the result of our presentation choices based on our understanding of social norms in society today.
Read More»Dec
03
I was reading the About Me page of my blog, and it seems my perceptions of myself have changed somewhat.
In particular, certain statements now ring false to me (and they have been removed).
Read More»…no small part of the pleasure I get out of being womanly comes from the guy inside me quietly observing and enjoying Jane’s exploits from within…
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