Dec
16
Ah, life in Canada! We had our first real snowfall here this weekend.
I know, who comes here for the weather report? Well, sometimes all the mumbo jumbo about life as a trans woman comes down to simply living your life.
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Aug
12
By now, the exciting news has leaked out – that I have red hair. Well, I have always had red hair, but now it is REALLY RED HAIR.
For most women, the choice of hair color is not a piddling concern, but likely not life-changing. For me, it is very likely to be.
Read More»Sep
26
At least in terms of my physical sex, I know I am not female. No one has to tell me that. I am clearly – and will forever be – male. (There are those who will argue that no matter the hormones or surgery, a person cannot change their sex – but that is a discussion for another day, and an issue of concern more for transsexuals than people like me.)
Gender is different than sex. Sex refers to biological differences. i.e., chromosomes, hormonal profiles, internal and external sex organs. Gender describes the characteristics that a society or culture delineates as masculine or feminine. (This description comes from Monash University in Australia, but the concept is the same on a hundred other sites.)
My gender is often feminine. I am happy to be treated as a woman, and behave in line with society’s expectations on women, and I am a person fortunate enough to have the natural gifts to enable me to do so.
Is my spirit female? I don’t know. Is there even such a thing? Ditto.
Am I pretending or acting? Not really – I mean to the extent I am not used to being feminine and during the time it takes me to learn, some things are put on. But what is not put on or fake are my feelings and the desire to be feminine and to be treated as female.
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Sep
17
Yeah, I’m a guy. And a gal. Why can’t I be both at once?
I have tried for quite some time now to try to conceptualize my gender identity. I have rejected many paradigms, but have yet to settle on one that feels right.
In some sense, I am both male and female. But, that makes me two people, and I’m not really, am I?
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Sep
10
Y’know, I asked the question a few posts back on the essence of womanhood, or what it means to be a woman, but then I barely touched on the answer.
There are those who focus on body parts. Others insist that it is chromosomes that matter.
I think that on a practical basis, both miss the point.
The way I see it, a person who goes out in the world as a woman, behaves as women are known to behave, accepts the privileges and restrictions that pertain to women… that person is, for all practical purposes, a woman.
Of course, male-bodied individuals who wish to assume this role cannot conceive children, but many women-born-women cannot either.
Is there a good reason to restrict our conception of women to those with the right body parts or chromosomes? I don’t really see it.
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Sep
06
I enjoy the nostalgia of watching television shows that I loved way back when.
One of those was a short-lived series called Banacek, in which George Peppard played a brilliant, suave, rich, arrogantly charming insurance investigator, collecting hundreds of thousands of dollars in each episode for recovering insured items worth millions for their insurers and their hapless investigators.
I ate that stuff up as a young man. But as a not-so-young woman…
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Sep
04
As I have said previously, just being Janie is not enough. A person has to do something, be something.
Since I wrote that post, I have been busy working on creating my new site, and on opening up the possibilities of doing both modeling and photography. Other stuff is in the works.
It is not as if I had a lot of time on my hands before, but now that my girl life is taking on some real challenges and consuming more of my time and my thoughts, I have started to feel something strange.
For the first time, I have actually sought out my male side as a respite from the pressure of my female life.
I think it is quite common for guys with a female side to seek to escape the responsibilities and difficulties in their lives by turning to her. Among the many motivations I have discussed for my becoming Janie, this one was present.
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Aug
27
The other day, I wrote about feeling like an imposter… which begs the question, “What exactly is the pretence?”
Stated differently, “What is it about being a woman that I am doing that is not authentic?”
Of course, these questions lead into consideration of what being a woman is all about… a bit of a tough question.
Read More»Aug
15
Today is one of those funny days when I don’t really know what I am.
I got up this morning knowing that I can be as I wish, then got dressed in a white pair of pants that are technically male clothes, but not categorically so.
I thought about what to put on top for a minute, then settled on my favorite green top with white stripes – a nice complement to the pants, and as feminine a top as the pants were masculine – in other words, debatably so.
Androgynous running shoes completed the androgynous outfit.
I hung around the house for a while, eating breakfast and answering emails and such, then had to go out.
I decided to accessorize my look with a necklace and two rings, and in a last minute decision, put on a touch of mascara and subtle lipstick.
The clothes are, as I have said umpteen times before, merely a reflection of my mood, not the other way around.
Read More»Jul
09
I had an odd thought today: why shouldn’t I be able to choose my gender according to my desire, no questions asked?
If you are born or brought up male, there are an awful lot of people who expect you to justify the choice of a female life on the basis of medical condition, inner spirit, psychiatric need or some way of showing that a true female lurks within.
In fact, we do it to ourselves. I have been looking for some kind of proof of my feminine credentials for some time now. Am I? Really?
But, why does it matter? Why can’t I be female for no other reason than I feel like it, or that it makes me happy? Whom am I harming? What’s wrong with it?
It is not like every Joe on the street is going to see that there is no “rule” against switching genders and immediately shave his legs and put on a skirt. Men guard their masculinity quite jealously. Those of us who even contemplate such things – nevermind actually following through – are obviously naturally inclined that way.
Or, am I missing something? (How’s that for “teeing one up?”)
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